


what if

by addictedtolove



Series: what if [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2020-11-07 18:42:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20822030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addictedtolove/pseuds/addictedtolove
Summary: Alex and Kelley are shown what could have been their lives if they had made the right choice five years ago.





	1. Chapter 1

Alex stares at the ring on her hand, troubled at the emptiness she felt. She was happy, why wouldn’t she be? They’d been together nine years to the date, and everyone else seemed to be expecting it, except from her. She’d just felt her heart drop when he dropped down on one knee and asked herself how she’d not seen this coming. It was a bit of a blur after that, she remembers nodding, and then cheers as her friends and family appear from wherever they were hiding. Then she’d been taken to their favourite club that he’d rented out to celebrate. Instead of appreciating what her _ fiance _ had done for her, she’d been too focused on the absence of one person.

Tobin told her that Kelley would try and make it for the party with an apologetic smile that made her seem like she didn’t believe what she was saying. Alex had nodded, put on that fake smile she was well acquainted with by now, and pushed down the feeling that Kelley always gave her. Now here she was at the bar staring at the diamond glinting at her, instead of enjoying her own engagement party. 

“Congratulations, Miss Morgan,” she hears behind her and she hates how her heart reacts to simply the sound of her voice, but she doesn’t dare turn around. “I guess soon to be Mrs Carras-“

“Please don’t,” Alex cuts her off, as Kelley drops down onto the seat next to her. “Reminds me of my old math teacher.”

“You going to keep your last name then?” Kelley asks, almost nonchalantly but Alex, as much as she pretends not to, can read her like a book.

“I think so, it’s kind of my brand, right?” Alex shrugs.

“Well, I, for one, think Morgan is too pretty of a name to lose,” Kelley says, and Alex lifts her eyes from her ring to actually look at her. She’s smiling but it doesn’t reach her eyes, which look tired and a little red, but Alex still thinks she’s stunning in that effortless way only Kelley can be. “Anyway, let me buy you a drink.”

“It’s an open bar,” Alex points out. 

“It’s the thought that counts, Al,” Kelley says cheerfully. Alex can’t help but let out a laugh, and Kelley’s smile actually reaches her eyes for a moment before dropping. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to the actual proposal.”

Alex ignores how she stumbles over that last word, “It’s fine, you’re here now. I didn’t think you would come,” she admits. Kelley glances at her before signalling the bartender. 

“I deserve a little more credit than that,” Kelley says, just as the bartender approaches them. Alex’s taken aback by the woman’s bright green hair and elderly appearance. She had to be at least 60, and had an amused smile, as if she knew something they didn’t. 

“What can I get you, love?” She asks Kelley. Kelley glances at Alex, but Alex knows her southern manners would never let her shock show.

“What would you recommend? I want something special for the woman of the hour,” Kelley says, and the woman gives Alex a once over before looking back at Kelley.

“I know exactly what you two need,” she says, and she starts mixing different things in a cocktail shaker before pouring out two bright green shots, the same shade as her hair, and it twinkled in the lights. “It’s called the ‘What If’ shot.”

“‘What If’ shot? Never heard of it,” Kelley says, passing one to Alex and holding the other in her hand.

“Legend says it’s so good it’ll answer all your what ifs,” the woman answers with a wink.

“Well I’m intrigued now Alex, come on,” Kelley says, raising her shot glass to clink against Alex’s. Kelley counts down from three and they tip it back in their mouths and then it goes black.

-

Alex wakes up with the worst headache she’s ever had, and she groans as the blinding light from the window makes the pain even worse. She closes her eyes briefly before they snap open when she realises she has an arm wrapped around her waist and someone pressed up against her back. She tries to think about how she got back home last night but can’t remember anything past the weird shot she had with Kelley and wonders how drunk she’d gotten to blackout that much. Then she notices she doesn’t recognise the room she’s in.

“Serv, where are we?” she croaks, but there’s no reply. She sighs and tries to get out of his grip. However, as soon as she shifts, the arm around her tightens and pulls her in closer and she feels him gently kiss her shoulder. She relaxes slightly for a moment before tensing and trying again to slip out of the embrace.

This time her movement causes Servando to let go of her so she turns around and the first thing she notices is the person behind her has long hair, whereas Servando definitely had short hair last night. The next thing she realises is that it wasn’t a stranger at all, it was Kelley O'Hara, who looked just as shocked as her. Kelley’s mouth falls open and she jerks away completely so they’re not touching anymore and she sits up.

Alex feels a strange twinge of hurt at how quickly Kelley moved away from her, but she’s distracted by how the sheets have slipped down to expose Kelley’s bare chest. She can’t help her eyes drifting down but she forces her eyes back up to look at Kelley, who is staring at Alex’s own chest, which she then realises is also exposed. Alex blushes and pulls up the sheet self-consciously. Kelley looks up at her again and swallows hard. 

Alex then realises that nothing’s been said yet, and she hates an awkward silence so she takes it upon herself to break it. “Morning…” she says slowly, and she cringes. Why is she like this?

“What the fuck happened last night?” Kelley ignores her awkward greeting, and Alex’s glad that at least one of them can get to the point.

“I can’t remember…” Alex says, “But my head’s killing me.”

“Same,” Kelley says, rubbing her head. “Where the fuck are we?” She turns around to look behind her and freezes. “Alex…” she says, slowly. Alex turns as well and her jaw drops when she sees the picture behind her. It’s a big, framed picture of two people kissing on what appears to be their wedding day, and the two people were women in wedding dresses, which Alex obviously wouldn’t have a problem with, but what she did have a bit of problem with was that the people in the picture were very familiar to her. It was pretty hard not to recognise her own face after all, or the face of the woman sat in the bed next to her.

“Is this some kind of fucking joke?” Alex murmurs, staring at the picture trying to figure out if it was photoshopped or a painting or not, but it looked way too real. She’s too busy staring at how the sun is gleaming off the the wedding band on her hand that’s cupping Kelley’s neck to notice that Kelley had gotten up. Her eyes widen when she sees a completely naked Kelley stretching in front of the mirror, examining herself carefully. 

“This must be some sort of weird dream,” Kelley says, poking the hickey on her boob. Alex wonders how someone’s abs can look that good but then notices something that makes her falter.

“Um Kelley…” she starts, not quite sure how to point out the bright red scratch marks on Kelley’s back, so she just lamely points at her back, and watches as Kelley turns with a frown and how her jaw drops.

“Holy shit,” Kelley murmurs, “that definitely wasn’t Ann...”

Alex doesn’t like the sting of jealousy that hits her, now really wasn’t the time. She raises her hand to brush the hair off her face and freezes when the glint of silver catches her eye. She looks down at her hand where two bands now rest on her finger. One is a silver band encrusted with diamonds that sits below an engagement ring that looked nothing like her engagement ring. She feels guilty to admit but it was much more… to her taste than her actual ring. It’s beautiful and classy, but clearly expensive enough to show that whoever bought it had put thought into it.

She finally tears her eyes away from it to look up at Kelley who’s staring at the matching silver band on her own hand. “What’s going on Kelley?”

“I don’t know Alex, but I really need to find some clothes before I can deal with this.”

-


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your response has been so kind, thank you for all of the comments and kudos. Just to clarify the events are pretty much the same as real life but the timeline might be a little different.

Kelley had found the walk in closet when looking for clothes, but not before finding clothes and underwear strewn across the room in different places, clearly having been thrown carelessly. Kelley moves on quickly, but the pink in her cheeks is unmistakable and makes Alex smile despite everything. She opens a door attached to the left side of the bedroom and whistles appreciatively, which entices Alex enough to wrap the blanket around herself and follow her into the room. Her mouth drops open when she sees it: the room's split down the middle into what’s obviously Kelley’s side- the denim jackets, sweatshirts, and Stanford merchandise a dead giveaway- and Alex’s side. There’s a full length mirror at the end and on either side a shoe rack that makes the not so secret shoe fanatic in her squeal.

Now, they both sit on the edge of the bed, fully dressed, and take in their surroundings properly. Alex walks over to polaroids on the walls and frowns as how she recognises the time of when they were taken but not actually taking them. The polaroids have dates written on them in a mix of her neat print and Kelley’s scrawl, and are organised in chronological order. The ones from her freshman year of college she recognises, mostly of a combination of some sort of her, Kelley and the gang of Ali, Tobin and Christen. The pictures of her and Kelley’s road trip to Big Sur brings back memories of one of the best weeks of her life. She had kissed Kelley in the water for the first time, but Kelley had pulled away and told her she doesn’t kiss girls with boyfriends. Alex had a decision to make.

Then, she gets to a polaroid titled “Best Birthday Ever” and the picture is of two silhouettes kissing against the backdrop of fireworks on the beach.

She remembers Kelley’s 20th birthday all too well because that’s the day Kelley kissed Ann on the beach while she stood and watched them with this sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, with the realisation she’d made the wrong choice. However, this picture isn’t of Ann, it’s of Alex with her arms around Kelley’s neck, and it leaves her staring at it in shock. She turns her head and sees Kelley’s doing the same, before shaking her head.

“I… I kissed Ann,” she murmurs,

“You also didn’t marry me, Kelley, clearly this isn’t the universe we were in,” Alex snaps, clearly taking the comment too personally, but Kelley doesn’t flinch, she just places a hand on Alex’s back.

“Hey, it’s okay, kid, we’re here together, we’ll figure it out okay?” Kelley says, and Alex sighs, and lets Kelley pull her into a hug.

“Why do you always know how to make me feel better?” Alex asks, and Kelley pulls away with a grin.

“It’s probably why you married me,” she says, and Alex groans and slaps her arm. “What? Too soon?”

Alex rolls her eyes and goes back to the pictures, from the kissing picture onwards it’s pictures she doesn’t recognise. Kelley and her standing a touch too close to be just friendly in a variety of locations- the beach, Kelley’s sorority house, Alex’s apartment, the park, at parties- and of Alex and Tobin at the Stanford stadium, Alex wearing a number 19 Stanford jersey, Kelley pouting while wearing a number 13 Cal jersey standing with an arm around Alex, who’s looking at her with a smug smile. 

Kelley and Tobin living together during their Pali Blues summer; Alex standing with Kelley wearing her graduation robes with Kelley’s family; Alex wearing an FC Gold Pride jersey with Ali and Kelley on either side of her; Kelley with her family at Alex’s graduation; Alex and Kelley together on the pitch in their WNY and Boston kits respectively, arms around each other; them at the World Cup; them in London during the Olympics; them with Tobin in places around LA after the Olympics.

Alex remembers those three months together last year, no responsiblities, no pressure, no boyfriend, just her and her two best friends. What she really remembers though is the tension between her and Kelley; sneaking into Kelley's bed after Tobin's asleep and begging her to fuck her; of the way Kelley kissed her when no one could see them; when in the end she goes back to him and it becomes another thing her and Kelley don't talk about. She wonders if Kelley thinks about those three months as much as she does.

There’s a weird change where after 2013 it’s pictures of Kelley with the Sky Blue girls, or of Alex with Tobin and/ or Allie but not together The first picture is captioned ‘Break Up :(’ written by Kelley, with ‘Thanks a lot, Kel,” written by Alex.

“You broke up with me?” Alex asks, offended on behalf of this universe’s Alex, she was clearly a catch.

“Wow this universe me is dumb as fuck,” Kelley comments, with that charming half-smile that makes Alex’s mostly fake annoyance disappear in less than a second. “Wait look,” Kelley says, pointing to a polaroid that has Alex holding flowers on a balcony, fireworks in the background, smiling at whoever’s taking the photo and not at the camera, and Alex can tell after looking at hundreds of polaroids that it’s her ‘Kelley smile’. The caption reads ‘I got her back’ and in different handwriting ‘Took you long enough’ and the date is the fourth of July.

“I took you back after you gave me one bouquet of flowers?” Alex asks, raising her eyebrows.

“They look expensive, plus they’re lilies, your favourite,” Kelley says, shrugging, and Alex turns to look at her with a smug smirk. Kelley looks at her with a confused frown, “What?”

“You know what my favourite flowers are?” Alex asks, and Kelley rolls her eyes, but Alex can see she’s blushing a little.

“Don’t make it weird, I just have a good memory,” Kelley says, turning back to the pictures. After that polaroid it’s pictures of them together as usual, although less often than usual obviously due to the distance. However, there’s pictures of them at holidays, and family and friends’ birthdays, and they look so happy it makes Alex’s heart ache, and then they get to December 2013 but the pictures keep going.

“Wait, so we’re in the future?” Alex asks.

“Seems like it,” Kelley says, eyes fixed on the picture of them kissing on New Year’s Eve, and she wonders if it’s as weird for her to see them kissing in all these pictures as it is for her. What is she thinking? The kissing wasn’t even the weirdest part of this whole situation.

Alex continues until she reaches the date of New Year’s Eve going into 2015, and she gasps at the picture of Kelley on one knee in front of her at a beach, fireworks going off in the background.

“Wow,” Kelley says, looking at it, “I never pictured myself the type to settle down that soon.”

“Really?” Alex asks, looking over to Kelley, “You’ve been with Ann for ages.”

“Yeah and she kept dropping hints, but I just… wasn’t ready yet,” Kelley says, shrugging. “I guess we can’t all be as ready as you and Servando.” She brings it up nonchalantly, but Alex sees right through it.

“Well, I… it caught me by surprise,” Alex admits.

“Haven’t you talked about getting married before?” Kelley asks.

“Yeah, of course, but it seemed like something in the distant future, you know?”

Kelley looks down, “Ann broke up with me.”

“What? When?” Alex asks, “Why didn’t you say anything?” She was hurt for Kelley because before anything, Kelley was her friend, regardless of how she felt for her.

“Last night, and I didn’t want to ruin your big day,” Kelley says, and Alex touches her shoulder lightly.

“I always have time for you,” Alex says, and Kelley smiles and looks down at the floor. “Why did she do it?”

“She didn’t say,” Kelley says, after a moment, and Alex can tell she’s not telling her something. She lets it go as much as she wants to push the topic, choosing to continue looking at the pictures instead, sure that Kelley would talk to her when she wants to.

The summer of the World Cup is documented in the different pictures, each with the country they played against, the final score, and the stage written neatly underneath. They get to Germany and Alex grabs Kelley’s arm.

“You scored.”

“What?” Kelley says, behind a picture or two, and Alex points at the picture of the team piling on top of Kelley, and underneath is written ‘Stanford vibes’ and ‘O’Hara wins the match for us’. Kelley looks at her with wide eyes, and Alex’s heart soars at the look on her face. “I score in a World Cup semi final?” Kelley says, slowly, and Alex wants to kiss that look of disbelief of her face, regardless of how guilty she feels to admit it.

Alex takes Kelley’s hand, which makes Kelley look at her confused, before looking down at their hands.“It was only a matter of time, Kel,” Alex says, heart breaking a little because she remembers Stanford Kelley all too clearly, the confidence she had and how there was no doubt in her when she was on the pitch. Stanford Kelley O’Hara knew exactly who she was and what she could do with a soccer ball at her feet. Playing for the US team had destroyed that part of Kelley in a way that made Alex’s fists clench when she sees Kelley second guess herself in a position she could have scored from nine out of ten times at college, opting to pass the ball instead. It’s not like she wasn’t a good defender, in fact, how she picked it up so scarily quick was something that was a mystery to Alex, but then again Kelley tended to excel in anything she wanted to. It’s one of the things she loved most about her.

Kelley smiles sadly, before looking back at the pictures, not letting go of Alex’s hand. “We win the World Cup,” Kelley says, in awe, looking at the picture of her, Tobin, and Alex holding the trophy together. Then, of one where Alex has Kelley wrapped up in the flag with her, kissing her in front of all those people. She wonders where this world's Alex got her courage from, how she could ignore the pressure and expectations that came with being the face of women's soccer for just one moment because she was that in love.

Kelley traces over the trophy with a wistful smile. “I wish I could remember.” She doesn't look like she's talking about the trophy at all.

Alex wants to say something, but she's afraid it would be too honest. Instead she just swallows the lump in her throat and points at a picture of her holding a jersey with the caption 'LYON'.

“I go to France!” Alex says, and Kelley looks at her with something akin to disappointment which then turns into a soft smile when she notices the number on the jersey.

“13 must’ve been taken,” Alex says, looking back at the number 19 on her jersey. She thinks she'd be proud to wear a number that represented so much on her back.

Kelley becomes the captain of the LA Pride team, which also drafts Ali and Christen. There's a picture of the three of them together - ‘Stanford gang back together’. Alex wins a championship league and then she marries Kelley. It’s a simple picture of the two’s first dance, too wrapped up in each other to notice anyone else- ‘The Morgan-O’Hara’s - 5/13/16’.

“Kelley, look at the date,” Alex says. “It’s our jersey numbers.”

“I bet it was my idea,” Kelley says, and Alex rolls her eyes.

They go to Rio for the Olympics; Alex joins the LA Pride; they move in together; they adopt a dog (Wolf); Alex gets pregnant with twins-

“Wait, are there kids in the house?” Kelley asks, grabbing Alex’s arm, panicked.

“Shit,” Alex says, just as they hear a text alert from one of the phones by the bed. They turn and Alex grabs the phone which is lit up. “It’s from Press.”

“What does it say?”

_**CP23: **Tobs and I will be at your house in 10 minutes to drop the kids off so you better not be naked._

Alex reads it out, and Kelley snorts. “She wasn’t wrong.”

“Kelley, we have ten minutes to figure out how to pretend we’re a happy married couple and also how to be a parent,” Alex huffs.

“Well, come on, all our friends say we already act like an old married couple and we were practically Tobin's parents. If it weren't for us, she would have spent the whole of college living on the soccer field,” Kelley points out, walking over to Alex to rest her hands on her shoulders to calm her down. “It’s going to be fine, Al.”

“What are our kids’ names?” Alex says, raising an eyebrow. Kelley’s hands drop to her side.

“Okay, maybe you have a point,” Kelley says, and she sighs. “It’s time to do our homework.”


	3. Chapter 3

As much as she really didn’t want to, they decided the best way to find too much information on themselves was Google and what would be a more reliable source than Wikipedia? Her phone seems pretty much the same as the iPhone she had but bigger and more expensive probably. She sees that the date clearly says May 14th 2019. So they were five years into the future.

It’s weird opening Safari, going to Google, and typing her name in. She hasn’t done this since after the loss at the 2011 World Cup. Google suggests her name after typing in the first three letters. That's new. She clicks on it and scrolls down to her Wikipedia page.

‘Alexandra Patricia Morgan-O’Hara (Born Alexandra Patricia Morgan) is an American soccer player. She is a forward for LA Pride in the National Women's Soccer League (NWSL) and the United States national team. Since 2018, she has co-captained the national team with Kelley O’Hara and Tobin Heath.’

One paragraph in and she’s already rattled. Captain? Yesterday she was still the baby of the team and now she’s supposed to be the captain? She wonders when they grew up, because she can’t see herself, Kelley or Tobin being mature enough to be the captains. Only the other month had Kelley pulled some outrageous prank and ended up getting an earful from Jill. Tobin forgets to put shin guards on nearly every match, and sometimes Alex thinks she’d also forget to put her cleats on if Alex didn’t remind her. Alex still sees Abby as her mentor, and isn’t nearly yet close to finished being mentored by her, let alone ready to mentor anyone else.

She can’t bear to read much more after looking at her goal total which was now apparently 101. She hadn’t even hit 50 goals yesterday and now she’d more than doubled it; it was getting too much for her, reading about this life that she was yet to lead and had no recollection of. She skips to ‘Personal Life’, which was what she had come for anyway.

‘After eight years of dating, Morgan married fellow national team and LA Pride teammate Kelley O’Hara on May 13th, 2016. The two met in college when playing against each other in the second round of the 2007 NCAA Division I Women's Soccer Championship. On January 17th 2017, the couple announced on social media that Morgan was pregnant with twins via sperm donor. Morgan gave birth to a daughter, Lucy Powell Morgan-O’Hara, and a son, Jed Riley Morgan-O’Hara, on August 19th 2017. Teammates Ali Riley and Tobin Heath were chosen as godparents. Morgan returned to playing 4 months after giving birth, scoring a goal in a friendly against Denmark.’

“Jed and Lucy,” Alex says out loud, trying to see how it sounds. 

“They’re turning two this August. It was our wedding anniversary last night, which probably explains why Tobs and Press had them,” Kelley pauses, “and the hickeys,” she adds as an afterthought. Alex rolls her eyes.

“Don’t say that in front of the kids,” Alex mutters, before locking her phone and throwing it on the bed with a groan. “I don’t know how to be a mom, Kel. Once Tobin and Christen leave, we’ll be left alone with two kids and I have no clue what I'm doing.”

“Alex, we have each other, we’ll figure it out. Kids aren’t that hard, if they’re hungry you feed them, if they’re dirty, you bathe them, and you try not to traumatise them in a permanent psychological way.”

“Right, you make it sound so simple,” Alex deadpans.

-

They had been so busy cooped up in their room that they didn’t even have time to explore the rest of the house before the doorbell rings, signalling that it’s time to give the performance of their lives. Alex follows Kelley down the stairs, looking around and trying to take in as much as she can.

“We’ve done well for ourselves,” Kelley says, before they reach the front of the house.

“Google says I’m worth over 3 million dollars,” Alex replies.

“I see why I married you now,” Kelley says, accepting the shove that comes afterwards.

“You’re such a dick.”

“Still got you to marry me though.”

Alex rolls her eyes, opting not to reply this time and just open the door. She doesn’t even hear Tobin’s greeting or focus on how Christen is pressed against her side too close to be just friendly. Her eyes are fixed on the two children- _ her _ two children- staring up at her with sleepy grins. She hadn’t really believed in love at first sight until now. Jed has Kelley’s eyes, not just the colour but the wildness as well, and a mop of unruly brown hair. Lucy has Alex’s steely blue eyes and the blonde hair that both Alex and Kelley had when they were younger. It’s so strange how much they look like them.

It takes her breath away because part of her was still convinced this was all a dream until now, but not even she could dream up something so perfect. They’re beautiful and _ theirs _.

She turns to Kelley finally to see that she’s also staring at them in awe just like she was.

“Are you guys gonna let us in or what?” Tobin asks, shifting impatiently, and Alex finally looks at Tobin and Christen. They’ve both got this maturity to them that only comes with age, but time has clearly been good to them. Alex narrows her eyes at the way Tobin’s got an arm resting around Christen’s waist casually.

Huh.

Maybe Tobin wasn’t as useless as they all thought.

“Mama,” Lucy whines, raising her arms up at Kelley. For a second, Alex fears that Kelley’s just going to stand there and make them look even weirder. However, Kelley proves her wrong, scooping up Lucy with ease in one fluid motion, and she even presses a kiss on her head. Alex can feel her heart melting, Kelley was clearly a natural but she always knew that Kelley would make the best mom.

“Alright, come in then,” Alex says, not wanting to stare too long. She takes Jed’s outstretched arm and leads the whole group in. She then realises she actually doesn’t know where she’s going but thankfully Jed drags her in the right direction to the kitchen where they’re greeted by Wolf snoring in the corner.

“Ball?” Jed asks, letting go of Alex’s hand to pick up the worn soccer ball next to the french doors overlooking a large garden with a pool which makes Alex wonder just how rich they are to afford all this.

“Uh… go ahead bud,” Alex says, unlocking and opening the door for him. He runs out and begins kicking the ball around, and Alex can’t help the pride she feels when she sees how good he is already. He might be Kelley’s biologically but he sure has Alex’s left foot.

“Do you want to play too?” Kelley asks Lucy, nuzzling her nose against her hair. Lucy nods, and Kelley puts her down gently and watches her run over to Jed.

“Thank you for watching them,” Alex says to Tobin and Christen, who look more at home in their kitchen than they do.

“Please, we love those kids more than you,” Tobin says, and she’s only half-joking. “But I can't say that part of the reason wasn’t because I thought Kelley would make her special pancakes.”

“Anything else you’d like ma’am, or would that be all?” Kelley deadpans, putting on a Southern accent.

“Not the vegan ones Alex pretends to like,” Tobin says, throwing her a pitying look. Alex is confused for only a moment before morphing her expression into what she hopes is an offended yet righteous one. She’d forgotten that she was apparently a vegan now.

“Don’t go there Tobin, we don’t need another lecture,” Kelley interjects, going to get started on the pancakes. “Anything for you, Press?”

“Just a coffee please, but I’ll make it myself.” Alex watches as Christen moves around the kitchen like she owns the place while Kelley opens different cabinets and drawers awkwardly, not aware of where anything is.

“So how was the restaurant? What did you get?” Tobin asks, taking the seat next to Alex at the island.

Alex swallows, looks at Kelley, who’s focusing extremely hard on pretending like she knows her own kitchen. “Oh, you know. Food, all kinds of food.”

"You don't say?" Tobin says slowly, before elbowing Alex. "What kind of food?"

"Just... the regular."

“I thought you hadn’t been there before?” Christen says, looking at her weirdly. Alex is still looking at Kelley, who’s pointedly ignoring her.

“Yeah I know. I just meant I got the regular vegan option,” Alex says, trying to spin this.

“Right… Wasn’t it a vegan restaurant though?” Tobin asks, and just as Alex is contemplating jumping out of the window, Kelley finally decides to pipe up.

“Alright, if we’re being honest, we didn’t actually go to the restaurant,” Kelley starts.

“Kelley…” Alex warns, afraid Kelley’s going to blow it.

“No, Alex, we’re all adults here, it’s fine. The truth is, we skipped the main course to get home for dessert if you get my drift,” she says, winking, and Alex feels her face heating up.

“Ew, too much information,” Christen says, covering her ears. 

“What? Can you blame us? We have two kids, how many nights do we get alone where we aren’t exhausted?” Kelley asks, with a smirk. Alex is just glad that at least one of them isn't a bumbling idiot.

“Alright! We get it!” Tobin shouts, scrunching up her face in a disgusted scowl. Alex can’t bring herself to make eye contact with anyone, and as much as she wants to strangle Kelley, she has to admit that it was an effective way of getting Tobin to stop asking questions.

-

“Breakfast is served,” Kelley announces grandly, putting plates of stacks of pancakes in front of everyone at the table. With help from Tobin, Alex had managed to put the kids in their highchairs and they clap excitedly as Kelley ruffles their hair. “And vegan pancakes for the wife.”

Kelley sounds like she’s trying not to laugh as she puts down the plate in front of Alex. Even though they weren’t as impressive looking as the others, Alex still appreciates the effort.

“Thanks,” Alex says, and a second later adds a “babe.” Kelley hovers behind her for a second, as if she’s conflicted, then she feels her kiss the top of her head. Alex, for some reason, finds herself going red, but Tobin and Christen don’t even bat an eye. Kelley takes the seat next to her, draping her arm on the back of Alex’s chair casually.

“I do miss your cooking, Kel,” Tobin says, practically eating a whole pancake in one bite. “Remember when we lived together in LA? I don’t think me and Alex even made one meal.”

“That’s not true, I made cereal,” Alex says, proudly. She pouts as the others laugh at her.

“It’s alright, babe, I married you for your looks not your cooking skills,” Kelley says, and Alex’s mouth drops open.

“Can’t forget the sponsorship money, Kel,” Tobin adds, and Kelley nods thoughtfully.

“That too.”

“I hate you both.”

“Alright, break it up kids,” Christen says, picking up her cup of coffee. “Anyway, I propose a toast. To Alex and Kelley. You’ve made it three years, here’s to many more.”

“Here, here,” Tobin says, mostly teasing, raising her own glass. “I think it’s cool how you’re totally still obsessed with each other.”

Alex isn’t expecting Kelley to take her hand, but it’s not unwelcome. She likes how they fit together so perfectly.

“You guys are so sappy,” Kelley says, but she raises her glass and clinks it against the others anyway, including Jed and Lucy’s little cups gently, before turning to Alex. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”

“There’s worse people to be stuck with.” Alex gives her a small smile, and they knock their glasses together too. It’s a little too intimate for her, a bit too overwhelming, the look in Kelley’s eyes and she forces herself to look away. “Like Tobin for example, I don’t know how you do it, Chris.”

“Hey, I’m a catch!”

-

Christen helps Alex wash up while Tobin and Kelley play with the kids. Alex can’t help but watch Kelley chase them through the window, only half-listening to what Christen is saying.

“I would be more annoyed if it wasn’t kind of cute,” she hears Christen say.

“Huh?” Alex asks, tearing her eyes away from Kelley, and Christen laughs, flicking her with the kitchen towel.

“I said it’s cute how you can’t pay attention to anything else when Kelley’s playing with Jed and Luce.”

“That’s not true,” Alex says.

“What was I talking about just then?” Christen challenges.

“Yoga?” Alex guesses after a pause.

Christen’s smug smirk drop off her face. Bingo! Alex loves that Christen hasn’t really changed that much. “Whatever.”

-

Christen and Tobin leave not too long after, telling them that they’ll see them later that week for their flight to St Louis. Apparently they have a game against New Zealand as a send off before they go to France for the World Cup. Oh yeah, they were going to France for the World Cup this year. Alex realises that it’s going to be impossible trying to balance kids, the World Cup and finding a way to get back to their world. Maybe they’d have to stay a little longer, at least until the World Cup was over, and when she sees Kelley carrying Lucy on her back, she doesn’t think she minds that much.

Alex has Jed in her arms, since he wanted to wave goodbye to Tobin and Christen until they disappear around the bend. She closes the door and catches Kelley staring at her with a serious frown.

“What?” Alex asks.

“Just thinking I must have been pretty whipped if I agreed to going to a vegan restaurant for our anniversary.” She says the word ‘vegan’ as if it’s something dirty.

“Maybe you just loved me.”

“Not as much as I love watching you try to lie to our friends. ‘Food, all kinds of food?’” Kelley tries to imitate Alex's stuttering, but bursts out laughing.

“Oh my God, how have I put up with you for so long?” Alex huffs, walking away from Kelley.

“You’re lucky to have me, I saved your ass!"

"Kelley!"

"Sorry! Butt. I saved your butt!"

-

After they somehow manage to wrangle the kids into bed, Alex sits on the edge of her bed looking at her phone. Kelley's in the toilet brushing her teeth. The lock screen is a picture of Kelley in one of her classic denim jackets, arm around Alex, head thrown back laughing while Alex looks at her with her ‘Kelley smile’. Alex uses her finger to unlock it like she had earlier, and now she has more time, decides to explore. Her most recents texts are all wishing them a happy anniversary and they're from a mixture of her friends, her family and Kelley's family. She decides to go to Instagram next. Her eyes widen when she realises she has over 5 million followers. Maybe she’s a _little_ more famous than she’s used to. Her feed is pictures of her playing football, or of Kelley, or her kids, or her dog, or her friends. The thing that gets her the most is how open she is, how free, how she clearly is comfortable posting what she wants on there. She wonders if it took her 10 years to get to that point.

She searches for Kelley’s account and can’t help the smile when she sees her most recent picture is of Alex’s Sport Illustrated cover, and her smile only widens when she sees her caption.

_kelleyohara**:** How hot is my wife?? Incredibly proud of you, @alexmorgan13. I still can’t believe how lucky I am!_

She looks over her shoulder to check that Kelley’s still in the bathroom before searching for Servando. Although he's pretty private and doesn't post often, it doesn't take Alex long to find out he’s married to some girl she doesn’t recognise and has a little boy. She remembers the many arguments they’ve had about kids and their careers. Alex didn't want to get pregnant while she was in the prime of her career and she tried to tell him that he didn't get it because he could still play soccer while she would have to be out of it for 9 months. He'd argued that he wasn't asking her to get prengant right this moment but the fact she couldn't even consider it was making him think that Alex wasn't serious about their future. Part of Alex wonders if the engagement was a test to see how serious she was about them, and another part is saying that her reaction tells her that maybe he had a point. Still, it’s weird to see the man she was engaged to yesterday kissing another woman with a little boy that looked exactly like him when he was younger. 

She hears Kelley come back and quickly exits the app. She doesn’t know why it feels so wrong to be looking at Servando’s profile. She knows she doesn’t really have any reason to feel guilty because he was her fiance less than 24 hours ago, and he technically still is, whereas Kelley was just a friend. She also knows that Kelley has never been _just_ anything, but whatever the reasons, she decides she can overthink them another time, because now she was focused on Kelley. She takes this time to really look at her, look at how she looks a little older, but still has that same sharp jawline and childish glint in her eyes that she’s always had. Alex has always loved Kelley’s eyes.

Kelley raises an eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

Alex nods, swallowing hard. “I’m going to go take a shower.”

She’s stood under the hot water for so long that Kelley’s already asleep when she gets back. It’s what she’d wanted since she’s not ready to discuss any of the things she should with her at all. Then again, they wouldn’t be Alex and Kelley if they talked about it.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe me, I'm the biggest Captain Becky stan but for the sake of this story I hope you'll forgive me for this one. Anyway, thanks for all the comments and kudos again! This is the first time I've ever posted anything and the response has been so kind.


	4. Chapter 4

_ “I can’t stop looking at it,” Alex says, staring at the unfamiliar ring on her finger. Kelley wraps her arms around her waist from behind and rests her chin on Alex’s shoulder. _

_ “In a good way?” She asks, and Alex smiles. _

_ “In the best way.” She turns her head slightly to rest her head against Kelley’s, her eyes closing. “It’s perfect, Kel. Thank you.” _

_ Kelley kisses her cheek. “Only the best for my fiancee, Mrs O’Hara-to-be.” She’s mostly teasing, but just being able to call Alex her fiancee makes her feel incredibly lucky. _

_ “As much as I love you calling me your fiancee, I’m not taking your last name, my last name is kind of my whole brand.” _

_ “O’Hara-Morgan?” Kelley suggests, kissing Alex’s shoulder. _

_ “Maybe… although Morgan-O’Hara sounds better,” Alex says, turning around in Kelley’s arms to face her. _

_“_ _You’re just saying that because your name comes first.” _

_ Alex shrugs. “You better get used to me getting my way, Kel. Happy wife, happy life.” _

_ “Hey, I’m going to be your wife too, asshole.” _

_ Alex laughs before leaning forward to kiss her. Kelley can’t help the dumb smile on her face when Alex pulls back. _

_ “I am, though,” and her voice is quieter, more serious, when she says this. _

_ “What?” _

_ “I’m going to be very happy with you as my wife.” Kelley takes Alex’s hand and presses a gentle kiss against her ring. _

_ Alex looks at her so fondly for a moment, before brushing her knuckles against Kelley’s cheek. They stay like that as the fireworks explode behind them. _

_ \- _

Kelley wakes with a start. She looks at the time. 

4:00AM. 

Alex is still sound asleep beside her, her arm around Kelley. She would have loved this any other day, but having Alex so close to her after that intense dream is too much. She gets out of bed without disturbing her, swipes her phone off of the bedside table, and makes her way down to the nursery. She puts Jed’s blanket back over him, and runs her fingers over Lucy’s hair, watching her breathe until she feels her heart calm down a little. She collapses into the armchair in the corner of the room.

She couldn’t explain it but that dream was too real. It was too detailed. Too familiar, like she knew exactly what was going to happen. It was almost like a memory. The realisation hits her embarassingly slowly.

She almost drops her phone in the hurry to open her notes app and write down every single detail she can remember, not wanting to miss a thing. She knows that one memory isn’t going to help her but she doesn’t ever want to forget how intensely happy she was in that moment.

She sees that her most recent note was one titled ‘anniversary post’, and guesses that it was a draft that she was supposed to post yesterday. She clicks on it and frowns when she sees it’s only a few lines long.

_ Happy anniversary @alexmorgan13. I can’t imagine a world where I’m not in love with you. Thank you for making me happier than I ever thought I could be. _

She re-reads the few sentences and isn’t too surprised when she feels her eyes filling up with tears. She agrees with this Kelley, she also can’t imagine a world where she’s not in love with Alex. 

It’s only in the calmness of the early morning that she finds herself able to think.

Yesterday was too hectic, with trying to deal with two toddlers and their two best friends while also come to terms with the fact that this wasn’t some crazy dream. She thinks that there’s no way that they can get out of here without help. Maybe Tobin and Christen bought their act yesterday but she can’t pretend to remember the last five years of inside jokes and memories without them catching on at some point. Those two weren’t even going to be their biggest concern tomorrow when they have to fly out to St Louis, there were going to be twenty one people that they were going to have to fool, and Kelley knows that they can’t do this alone.

She scrolls through her messages until she finds the one person that has the highest chance of believing her.

_**Kelley Belly: **Are you free today? I need your help._

Kelley wonders why she’s up so early when the reply comes two minutes later.

_**Ali Baba: **Are you okay? We can meet at the usual place if you want?_

Kelley has no idea what she’s talking about. She tries to think of a way of asking where Ali means without raising suspicion but comes up blank.

_**Kelley Belly:** I’ll explain when I see you. Can you pick me up?_

_**Ali Baba:** Of course, I’ll be there in half an hour._

Kelley knows she can’t leave without telling Alex, especially since there were two small children that she would have to try and look after by herself. It doesn’t make the walk back to their bedroom any easier though.

To her surprise, Alex is awake and sat at the edge of the bed, phone in hand. She gets up at the sight of Kelley.

“Where were you?”

“Checking on the kids,” Kelley says, and it’s only half a lie.

Alex is chewing on her bottom lip, something she only did when she was hiding something or nervous.

“What is it?” Kelley asks.

“Did you have a dream last night?” Alex says, and Kelley’s eyes widen.

“Wait, did you have one too?”

Alex nods.

“Of the proposal?” Kelley asks.

Alex nods again. “It was real, wasn’t it?”

“I think so,” Kelley says, and she wants to ask Alex if she felt as content as she did, if her heart raced at Kelley’s touch, if she was disappointed that it ended when she woke up. She doesn’t though. “Ali’s going to be here in half an hour.”

“Why?” Alex asks, looking like she already knows the answer.

“I’m going to tell her.”

“Are you kidding me, Kelley?”

“What other choice do we have Alex? We can’t keep pretending like this without slipping up at some point.”

“Why would she believe you?”

“Because she’s my best friend. She’ll know I’m telling the truth, she has to.”

“Kel-” Alex starts, but Kelley grabs Alex’s hand. She likes the way the rings on Alex's finger press into her hand.

“Just trust me, please.” Alex looks down at their hands before sighing.

“I do,” Alex says, her voice softer than it was. She looks back up at Kelley. "Do what you have to do. I trust you."

"Thank you," Kelley says, letting go of her hand reluctantly.

-

“That was weird," Ali says, after Kelley gets in her car and closes the door.

"What?" Kelley doesn't know how she's already screwed up without having said a word.

"I've never seen you leave even a room without kissing Alex," Ali says. She's referring to the moment when Alex and Kelley realised that Ali was watching them say goodbye from her car and settled for an awkward hug.

"We didn't want to make you uncomfortable," Kelley says, wanting to groan. Of course they were _that_ couple.

"That has _never_ stopped you before," Ali retorts, playful smile on her face fading into a concerned one. "Is everything okay with you two?"

"Just because we didn't kiss in front of you doesn't mean we're going to get divorced Ali," Kelley tries to laugh, but it sounds a little fake. "I didn't realise you were such a perv, next time we'll full on make out if you want."

"Shut up." Ali rolls her eyes, but she looks less concerned so Kelley counts this as a victory. "Music?"

"Yeah, I'd love some."

Ali pulls out her phone and turns on the car radio, before pulling out of their driveway. It's a comfortable silence, and she's always liked that about hanging out with Ali. It takes her back to their college days where they'd drive to the beach in the early morning. It was mornings like those that she loved the most.The quiet music in the background, the slightly open windows letting in the fresh air and when they get closer, the smell of the sea. Christen sleeping peacefully in the background, looking more relaxed than she has all week, Ali and her quietly talking, as to not wake Christen, trying to stifle the giggles that inevitably arise, laughing harder when Christen glares at them when they fail.

Later, when Alex was invited to one of their beach trips, Ali had given up the shotgun privileges she'd won in a drinking game in freshman year which resulted in a small fire. Alex had sat in the seat next to her instead, Ali, Tobin and Christen all squeezing into the back on the drive home. Kelley could hardly focus on the road in front of her when Alex was sat next to her with that smile and those warm eyes as the sun bathed her in this golden glow. She remembers catching Ali’s eye in the backseat and the look she gives her lets her know that it was written all over her face. That was only the third time Alex and Kelley had hung out, and even then she was enchanted.

She realises Ali had something to her, but she'd been too deep in thought. "What?"

"How’s the ankle?” Ali repeats, and that’s when Kelley falters.

“What?”

“Your ankle?”

“Fine," Kelley finally says, thinking it was a neutral answer.

"So you're all ready for the game?"

Kelley just nods.

"That's good. I know you were unsure about the surgery but I'm glad you went through with it. I told you you'll be back before the World Cup," Ali says, but Kelley's barely listening.

She can't believe her ankle was still bothering her five years later. She'd had to go through the heartbreak of having to miss months of soccer while all her friends got to play. It had been horrible having to stay at home, and she couldn't even bring herself to watch the games, but still had done everthing right in terms of rehabilitation and recovery. To find out that she would have to get another surgery years later made her wonder what was the point. She knows that injuries are all a part of the career, but the ankle injury was the worst thing she'd had to go through.

The song changes and it's something slower, and the voice sounds familiar to her.

"Is this Taylor Swift?" Kelley asks, and the speed at which Ali's head snaps to face her lets her know she fucked up.

"Good one," Ali says, slowly.

Kelley's confusion must be evident on her face, because Ali's face hardens.

"You don't know this song?" Ali asks, pulling into the parking lot overlooking a beach. Of course this was the usual place. They hadn't changed all that much after all.

Kelley shakes her head. "It sounds like Taylor Swift."

"Kelley, come on," Ali says, trying to smile but it drops when she sees how blank Kelley's face is. "Oh my God, you're being serious?"

"I don't know every song in the world. Why is that such a crime?"

"I would hope you remember the song that you had you first dance to."

Oh.

Yeah, Kelley had definitely fucked up.

"Okay, what's going on?" Ali asks, face completely serious. "I don't know how anyone could forget Taylor Swift seranading them at their wedding, let alone you."

Kelley sighs, and runs a hand over her face, trying to think about the best way of going about this. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me."

-

Kelley manages to get Ali to sit on the beach with her. "Alex and I... we're not from this universe or this time. We're from 2013, and we never got together in college, we're just friends. We were at this party and this weird woman gave us this drink, it was green, and we woke up yesterday in bed, naked. I woke up and I was a wife and a parent- I can't remember any of it. I need your help to get back because this isn't my life."

Ali stares at her for a long time. She's worried that she's broken her. "Yeah, you were right, I can't believe you."

"Ali," Kelley feels hopeless, she knew this sounded crazy but she was hoping Ali could see that she wasn't lying. "Please. I’m telling the truth.”

“Look, clearly you’re pulling one of your pranks but this is too far, Kel, even for you.” Ali gets up and turns to walk away.

Kelley may not know this Ali, but she does know that Ali is her best friend, and that Ali, as her best friend, should know there are some things that even Kelley would never joke about. “She got engaged to Servando.”

Ali freezes, turning around slowly. “What did you just say?”

“The night this all happened, I was at her engagement party. She said yes to his proposal.”

Ali collapses back next to her. “Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

“Even you couldn't fake how heartbroken you sound.”

Kelley stays silent at this. Ali reaches out to touch her hand lightly.

“So you’re actually telling the truth.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Ali sighs. “What was the plan, Kelley? Pretend to be a parent to children you don’t know? Pretend to be a teammate to people you don’t remember? Pretend to be in love with Alex?”

“I’m not.”

“What?”

“I’m not pretending Ali. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. It’s torture having to pretend to be her wife and then go back to being just her friend when we’re alone. There’s never going to be a universe where I’m not in love with her. I was just unlucky enough to live in one where Alex doesn’t love me back.”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“What?”

“It’s never been a question of Alex loving you back, idiot. This is just a universe where Alex has enough courage to accept it.”

Kelley doesn't know what to say to that. She just rests her head in her hands and looks out at the water.

"Taylor Swift really serenaded us at our wedding?" She finally says, and Ali laughs.

"Alex Morgan is a pretty big deal in this universe, she has connections everywhere. It was a wedding present to you," Ali says. "You all met her after you won the World Cup, and Alex kept in touch so it didn't take much convincing."

"Can I hear it?" Kelley asks, and Ali gets out her phone and plays it for her. Her eyes never leave the waves as she listens. She doesn't know why she tears up, it's like her body reacts to something her mind can't remember.

_ 'Cause you can hear in the silence // _

_ You can feel it on the way home // _

_ You can see it with the lights out //  
_

_You are in love, true love // _

_You're in love_

The song finishes and Ali wipes the tear that escapes away from Kelley's cheek, before pulling Kelley in for a hug. Kelley doesn't realise how much she had needed this until she's gripping onto Ali's shirt like she's scared she's going to disappear.

“Look, you need to tell Tobin and Christen.” Ali says, pulling away slightly. “They’re the only ones that can help you with your teammates, because you won't know most of them, things have changed a lot since 2013. Anyway, it’ll be easier for you two if you have someone watching out for you in camp, but I can help you if you have any other questions. Text me or call me whenever.”

“Thank you, Ali,” Kelley says, wondering what she did to deserve a friend like Ali Riley.

"No need to thank me, I've always said that Alex is like the little sister I never had, and you're like my little brother." Kelley can't help but laugh at that. Ali smiles at the sound. “Just for the record, Kel… I watched you two fall in love in this universe, and the way you look at Alex is exactly the same-”

“Ali-”

“I’m not finished. The way Alex looks at you hasn’t changed either. I could see it from the car. The only difference is that she’s trying to hide it.” Kelley has nothing to say to that, so Ali continues. “Don’t lose hope, Kel.”

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the love.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't lie and say that this chapter wasn't a little inspired by the news that Alex is gonna be a mom! It's a little longer than my other chapters too, so I hope you enjoy.

“I knew something was off when you two didn’t kiss the whole time we were with you yesterday!” is what Christen says, when Alex and Kelley sit them down to explain the situation.

“Seriously?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow. So they were _ that _ couple.

“Wait, you believe us?” Kelley asks.

“I don’t think that you’d go as far as pretending that you’ve forgotten your own children, plus Alex is the shittiest liar I’ve met,” Christen explains.

“The whole vegan restaurant thing proved that,” Tobin says, with an amused smile.

They agree to get them up to date on the team now, which had changed a lot in only five years. Everyone Alex had spent so long looking up to had retired or left the team. Lauren, so kind and such a calming presence on the field, retires only a year and a half after their time. She thinks that the team had lost such a great player too soon, but as Tobin shows her the pictures of her smiling daughter, she realises it’s not fair to be selfish. Although, there is a sadness still in Tobin that Alex picks up on, and she goes to comfort her, but she doesn’t need to because Tobin has Christen now, who squeezes her hand a little tighter and leans into her side. She smiles because she’s glad Tobin has someone who knows her as well as Alex does.

It’s not even just Lauren, there’s Shannon, Lori, Christie, Heather, Hope and Abby. Alex doesn’t know how she could step on the football pitch without all these women next to her to let her know that they have this under control. She doesn’t know how to play without Abby by her side, her mentor through and through. Kelley’s as shocked as her, and she knows how much Christie and Hope had helped her transition to a defender, how she had been the one person who could relentlessly pester Hope without annoying Hope, and how close she had gotten with Christie’s girls since they had played for Sky Blue together. Heather was always pushing Kelley to be better, having friendly rivalries over things like the beep test, and Kelley had looked up to her for years before they had started playing together.

Sydney was pregnant for the _ second _time, which was just weird to think about since she could not see Sydney settling down any time soon in their world. Kristie Mewis wasn’t on the team anymore, but her younger sister was. Ashlyn and Ali were engaged, which was a long time coming. Becky was still as solid as she always has been; Carli’s as unstoppable, on the field and off the field, as ever, and Pinoe is Pinoe but with pink hair. Tom wasn’t their coach anymore, which, really, she wasn’t too upset about. 

However, what really gets her is how many new people there are. Rose is only 24, the same age she was a few days ago, but filled with so much potential as she watches the videos of her twisting her way around defenders on Tobin’s phone. Mal and Tierna are even younger, the former calling Kelley her older sister and the latter having watched Kelley play at Stanford. Kelley watches Tierna proudly show off her number 19 Stanford jersey with a smile so soft it actually makes Alex melt a little. Tobin and Christen tells them about how Kelley had made it her mission to take the newbies under her wing.

“You always say they keep you young,” Christen says.

“Yeah, as if you aren’t five years old already,” Tobin says, and Alex can tell Kelley’s laugh isn’t entirely genuine. She looks freaked out, as if she can’t imagine ever feeling like she isn’t young or maybe it’s the fact that she was one of the kids just a few days ago. Alex isn’t too surprised though, Kelley always had the natural ability to make feel comfortable around her.

“Sonnett is like a mini you. Alex always has to keep an eye on you two when you get together. The shit you two pull sometimes…” Christen trails off thoughtfully, shaking her head.

“Lindsey is amazing. I played with her in France, and getting to watch her get to the player she is now, it’s… just been a joy,” Tobin says, pride shining in her eyes. Christen watches her with a soft smile, taking her hand.

“So you two finally got together huh?” Kelley asks, smirking.

Christen rolls her eyes while Tobin shrugs. “It took us a while.”

“In our world, Tobin’s just come back from Paris, but you’re still in Sweden.”

“Yeah, it was a whole lot of pining for years, but I had this talk with Kel,” Tobin says. “I was asking her why it was taking her so long to propose to you. Alex, you were really unsubtly dropping hints about it for months and it was driving us all crazy“

“That does sound like me,” Alex says, laughing.

“Kel had bought the ring in like 2013, after you got back together, but it took her, like, two years to actually use it,” Christen says, rolling her eyes fondly.

“Yeah, so she said she was waiting for the right moment, and I tell her that there is no such thing as a perfect moment, and to just stop being so scared and go for it, and Kelley told me that maybe I should follow my own advice. We made a bet, Kelley would finally propose to you if I would finally tell Chris how I felt.”

“Yeah, super romantic that it was a bet that made you get up the courage to tell me,” Christen deadpans, and Tobin grins, bring up their intertwined hands to kiss Christen’s knuckles.

“It worked out, didn’t it?” Tobin says, and Christen smiles as she kisses her gently.

“I guess so.”

“Jesus, I hope we’re not this bad,” Kelley says loudly to Alex, but Alex can tell her that she’s genuinely happy that these two managed to work things out. She remembers spending so much time in college watching Tobin and Christen dance around each other, neither of them ready to take the first step. Kelley and Alex would call them clueless while she would try to convince herself that the way she always wanted to kiss Kelley didn’t mean anything. She’s always been a hypocrite.

“You’re so much worse, trust us,” Tobin says, looking like she’s seen some things that she couldn’t bring herself to think about for too long.

-

_ Alex sits down on Kelley’s lap in the comfy armchair, and smiles when Kelley wraps her arms protectively around Alex’s stomach. It was something they had done probably a thousand times over the years but it means so much more now. She plays with the ring on Kelley’s hand as she listens to Tobin finish her story about the weird artsy restaurant her and Christen went to for their anniversary. _

_ “Are you sure you don’t want any wine, Al?” Ali asks, pouring more for herself. _

_ Alex hides her smile, “Yeah, I’m alright for tonight.” _

_ “I’ll take some though, thanks Al,” Kelley says, holding out her glass. Ali rolls her eyes, but tops her off anyway. “Anyway, we did have an ulterior motive for calling this girls night. We have some news.” _

_ Ali and Tobin look at her expectantly, but Christen’s eyes are fixed on how Kelley’s holding Alex’s stomach, before glancing at the glass of lemonade, and Alex can actually see when it clicks. She gasps loudly, catching the attention of Tobin and Ali. _

_ “What?” Tobin asks, turning to look at Christen, who’s looking at Alex with a watery smile that probably mirrors her own. _

_ “I told you Press would get there first,” Kelley murmurs, kissing Alex’s shoulder. _

_ “It was a risk we had to take,” Alex replies. _

_ “What’s going on?” Tobin asks. _

_ “By the end of August, you’re all going to be aunties,” Alex says, resting her hands over Kelley’s on her barely-there bump. Ali screams, Christen squeals, and Tobin’s mouth falls open. Alex laughs, getting up as Christen runs over to her and hugs her tight. _

_ “Oh my God, Al!” She says, wine making her weepy, but it’s okay because Alex is just as teary sober. _

_ Ali goes straight to Kelley, and Alex smiles at the two of them embracing, Ali murmuring words too low for her to hear into Kelley’s ear, while Kelley smiles warmly. _

_ “Babe, are you okay?” Christen asks Tobin, who’s still open-mouthed and looks lost. “I think you broke her.” _

_ “I… You’re pregnant?” Tobin manages to say. _

_ “You catch on fast, bud,” Kelley deadpans. _

_ “Like with a kid?” _

_ “Kids,” Kelley corrects, and she laughs as Ali screams again, and Christen downs her glass of wine. “We found out this morning. Twins.” _

_ Tobin just shakes her head, standing up finally to embrace them both at the same time, “I can’t take anymore surprises today.” _

_ “Good thing you can’t get me pregnant, babe,” Christen says, from behind her. _

_ “We also wanted to ask you guys to be the godmothers,” Alex says. _

_ “Do you even need to ask?” Ali asks, topping off Christen’s glass. _

_ “Obviously, yes,” Tobin says, picking up her glass and putting an arm around Christen’s waist. _

_ “A toast to Alex and Kelley, who are going to make awesome parents, and the two most spoiled children that there ever will be,” Ali says, and Kelley’s looking right at her with that soft half-smile, as they all clink their glasses, and it’s like she feels complete. _

-

Alex’s family are there at the airport when they touch down in St Louis. She didn’t know true hell until she had to try and keep two toddlers happy on a four hour flight, and as much as she was grateful for on-flight entertainment, she was five minutes away from throwing herself off the plane after watching four hours of Paw Patrol.

She watches her parents greet Kelley like she was their own daughter before picking up her kids and cooing at them. She had almost forgotten that she had a new niece, when Jen walks over with a tiny girl in her arms.

“Look Liv, it’s your Aunties Al and Kel,” Jen says, and Alex feels betrayed when Liv opens her arms to Kelley.

“Oof, that’s gotta hurt, babe,” Kelley teases, picking Liv up and kissing her cheek. “Hi, bud, I know I’m your favourite aunt and all, but you’re hurting your Auntie Al’s feelings.”

“Shut up,” Alex mutters lowly, before holding out her hands to Liv, who lets her take her from Kelley with no complaints. “I know I’m your favourite really,” she whispers, as Kelley watches her fondly.

“We have a team meeting in an hour,” Christen says, looking at her watch.

“We’ll take the kids, we’re staying in the hotel next to yours, you can pick them up when you’re done with training,” her mom says, and she’s so grateful that she has this support system around her so that she can continue doing what she loves while still having a family. It lets her know that she really can have it all.

-

They walk into the team meeting room and it’s only then that Alex picks up on how many people she doesn’t recognise. She had obviously been prepared by Christen and Tobin but that doesn’t dampen the shock at seeing so many unfamiliar faces, and the absence of so many familiar faces.

“Where did everyone go?” Kelley whispers to Alex, looking just as lost as her. It’s weird to not see the players she had looked up to for so long in the room. She feels like she did when she had gone to her first camp, and just like then, she’s glad she has Kelley by her side.

“Miss Kelley!” She hears someone shout, and she turns to see the girl she recognises from pictures as Emily Sonnett.

“That’s Mrs Kelley to you, Sonnett,” Kelley manages to quip back, and Alex wishes she was as good at this as Kelley was. Tobin and Christen had tried to teach them about their little inside jokes with different people but they only knew so much, and it puts Alex on edge that they could be found out at any minute.

However, even if she doesn’t really know these people, it doesn’t take too long for her to feel right at home for some reason. She doesn’t think that their team had ever felt this easy before. The new girls are hilarious and silly, and Sonnett really does remind her of Kelley, the same look of chaos in her eyes, and the way they look at her when Alex laughs at their jokes- like they can’t believe she actually is- is kind of endearing. The older players seem less serious around them too and she can see what Kelley means by them keeping her young.

They remind her of her when she had first joined the team: carefree, without the weight of the whole world on her shoulders. She hopes that they stay like that, even though she knows the outside noise will get loud, especially during such a big tournament like this. She watches Sonnett, Rose and Sam doing some kind of choreography, while Mal and Lindsey jeer them, with an amused smile and thinks that she’s glad that this is who the future of this team is.

-

It’s only when she’s lacing up her boots that she realises how much she was missing playing.

Her body feels stronger, that’s the only thing she can think of when she’s training. She doesn’t know if it’s muscle memory of this body, but she’s playing the best soccer of her life. Her positioning is better, her aim is pin-point, and she just feels stronger.

“Good job, Alex,” she keeps hearing, as she runs through drills, and it just motivates her even more. She can see Kelley out of the corner of her eye, being relegated to sprinting for now, and can tell from the look on her face that she’s not exactly happy about it. She makes a mental note to talk to her about it later.

Alex’s parents bring the kids by near the end of training, and it warms her heart to see the team all rush to keep them entertained. Alyssa hands Lucy her goalkeeping gloves and gently kicks a few balls at her, while Ashlyn and Ad cheer and try to coach her.

“Oh no, my daughter will never be a goalkeeper,” Kelley yells, when she notices, jogging over to them.

Jed’s being nutmegged by his Auntie Tobin, who only shrugs apologetically when Alex glares at her. Christen is stood next to her, watching Tobin, fond smile on her lips.

“And you say I’m bad,” Alex says, nudging her. Christen blushes but doesn’t make an effort to look away. “Are you thinking of having kids?”

Christen’s smile turns softer at that and it reminds her of Kelley’s from the dream she had last night of them announcing their pregnancy. “We’ll have to get through the wedding first, but we’ve talked about it. We’re thinking adoption.”

Alex smiles at that.

“You’re actually my maid of honour,” Christen says, and Alex turns to look at her.

“Seriously?”

“There would be no one who would be as Type A about their responsibilities, it was an obvious choice,” Christen says, shrugging. Alex squeezes Christen’s bicep before walking over to Tobin.

“Stop bullying my child, Heath.” 

-

_ They touchdown in California after coming back from the U20’s World Cup. Kelley had plans of taking Alex back to hers, so they could finally have some alone time, as they’d been with their teammates for weeks now. Her plans are slightly ruined when they’re greeted by her, Alex and Tobin’s family when they walk out of the airport. Kelley drops Alex’s hand, and tries to pretend she doesn’t see how Alex’s face falls immediately. Her sister runs to her to embrace her and she’s swept up in reuniting with her family so she’s not able to focus on it too much. _

_ Their parents propose going to dinner together, and so the group of 15 try to find a restaurant to accommodate them all, and along the way, new friendships start to form. Jerry and Jeff seem to be getting on well, having being the youngest ones there and their crushes on Alex in common. Erin and Alex are getting on too well for Kelley’s liking, especially with the smirks Erin keeps throwing her way. Their parents already were acquainted as they had met each other at the World Cup matches. The three moms are chatting about mom stuff, broken up with loud laughter every five minutes. Kelley and Alex’s dad are chatting about their work and fishing, because of course they are. Kelley’s having her ear chatted off by Jeri, as Tobin walks next to her with an amused smile, and her older sisters are talking to Jeni. It’s a loud group of happy people. _

_ Alex keeps catching her eye, because Kelley can’t stop staring at her, and she gives her an amused, soft smile every time. She thinks she’s not being very subtle at all if the nudges Tobin gives her are any indication. She can’t help it though, it’s like her eyes are drawn to Alex. _

_ They find a restaurant and the waitress has to put two tables together but they all fit. Kelley sits in between Alex and Tobin with Erin directly opposite her which isn’t ideal considering she can’t stop looking at Alex and Erin has always been annoyingly observant. It’s why she didn’t look too surprised when Kelley told her she was gay five years ago. She was the only member of her family who knew, Kelley not really sure how her parents would react, especially with the type of background she’s from- from the south, military, Christian, it’s like they ticked all the boxes. _

_ It’s a lot for her, growing up in a place like Peachtree City, like she’s conflicted because she loves it to death but having to hear off-hand comments about gay people from her friends and family for years also made it a kind of shitty environment to grow up in. It’s only when she left with the U-16s that she realised that she wasn’t alone in this. Tobin taught her that she could still be Christian and like girls, and she wonders how she’d be without her. In a darker place for sure. Then she moved to California for college and for the first time she felt free, which led to a lot of hookups but nothing serious. She’s never wanted anything serious until now. She knows she’s never wanted anyone as much as she wants Alex. _

_ “Are you okay?” Alex asks, placing a gentle hand on Kelley’s knee, and it breaks her out of her thoughts. _

_ She nods and gives Alex a smile, “I’m fine.” She places her hand over Alex’s and squeezes it. Alex gives her a smile and doesn’t seem in hurry to take her hand back, turning back to Tobin’s sister. Erin glances at their hands with a small smirk, before giving Kelley a look that says ‘we need to talk’. Kelley is not looking forward to it at all. _

_ “Honey, we haven’t heard anything about Servando in a while. How is he?” Kelley tenses at the question Alex’s mom asks. _

_ “Is Servando your boyfriend?” Kelley’s mom asks curiously. _

_ Before Alex can even say anything, Jeni cuts in. “Yeah, they’ve been together since high school. Coming round to four years right, Ali?” _

_ “That’s adorable, Alex,” Tobin’s mom now says, and Kelley’s grip on her cup was tightening. Erin is staring right at her, and Alex is trying to find the right way to reveal the news. _

_ “He’s so sweet, Cindy, a real gentleman,” Pam goes on. “He also plays soccer at Berkley, I’m pretty sure he followed Alex there, an-” _

_ “I broke up with Servando,” Alex just comes out with it and everyone turns to look at her. Alex can’t help her blush, and Tobin’s just trying not to laugh while Kelley glares at her. Then the questions start. _

_ “What? Why?” _

_ “When?” _

_ “Why didn’t you tell us? _

_ “I just didn’t love him anymore,” Alex says, shrugging, wanting to add ‘because I’m in love with someone else’ but she doesn’t because now isn’t the time and it’s not the way she wanted to tell Kelley. “I don’t think I had for a long time.” _

_ It doesn’t take too long for the atmosphere to go back to normal after that. Alex’s mom just tuts sympathetically and tells her that there’s other fish in the sea. Alex’s dad doesn’t look that bothered, and Jeri and Jen are just annoyed Alex didn’t tell them sooner. _

_ Kelley squeezes Alex’s hand again, just to let her know she’s there for her. Alex turns her hand and intertwines their fingers, not turning away from Jeri. Kelley tries to hide her smile but it’s hard when their hands fit together so perfectly. _

_ \- _

_ They’re walking back to where their parents have parked when Kelley feels a tug on the back of her shirt. She’s pulled out of the conversation she was having with Tobin and turns to see Erin. Tobin shrugs and jogs to catch up with her sisters. _

_ “What?” Kelley asks, pulling out of Erin’s grip. _

_ “How long have you and Alex been dating?” Erin asks, and Kelley freezes. She wasn’t expecting Erin to get straight to it, but then again, that was Erin for you. _

_ “I… What are you talking about?” Kelley stammers, but it’s not said quick enough or with enough conviction. _

_ “You’re going to do better than that, even if I wasn’t your sister,” Erin says, laughing. _

_ “How did you know?” _

_ “You were hardly subtle, Kel, I knew you’ve liked her since before Christmas when you couldn’t shut up about her, and now tonight you both couldn’t stop staring at each other, also, she’s wearing your fucking jacket,” Erin says, rolling her eyes. Kelley had forgotten Alex was still wearing it. _

_ “Shut up,” Kelley says, blushing, before looking around to check they were out of earshot. “It’s new.” _

_ “You can talk to me about stuff like this, you know that right?” Erin asks, after a pause. Kelley sighs, looking down at her shoes. _

_ “I guess I’m just getting to grips with being comfortable with it myself,” Kelley admits. “But I promise to try.” _

_ “I get it, Peachtree City's not the most… progressive place. That’s why I was happy you came here for college, as sad as I was that you had to move across the country.” _

_ “I really like her, Erin, like I’ve never felt this way before. I want to tell everyone but at the same time I’m too scared to hold her hand in front of mom and dad.” _

_ “Mom and Dad aren’t gonna care, Kel, but tell them when you’re ready. For the record, I really like her for you.” _

_ “Really?” Kelley asks, smile coming back to her face. Despite everything, she still wanted her sister’s approval, and her opinion on someone as important to her as Alex meant everything. _

_ “Yeah, she’s gorgeous and really cool, and also makes you smile in a whole different way, like you look genuinely happy next to her.” _

_ “I am.” _

-

It’s strange to be stood at the front of the tunnel, the armband feeling too tight around her bicep. Alyssa is a solid, quiet presence behind her, and Ali is hyping up her own team beside her, sounding as cheerful as ever. Their contrasting energies somehow help to ground her.

“You look nervous, Kel,” Ali teases.

Kelley swallows before putting on her smug smirk. “You wish, Riley. We’re going to kick your ass.”

“Winner buys drinks tonight.”

“I hope your bank account’s ready,” Kelley retorts. “May the best woman win.”

“You’re on.”

It’s not long before Kelley has to lead the team out. She tries to imitate Ali’s walk of total confidence but her palms are sweating and she feels bad for the poor kid who has to hold onto her hand.

She’s sang the national anthem countless times, but it’s something she will never get over. Being able to play the game she loves so much next to some of the best soccer players she’s ever met, it was something she’d never take for granted.

She walks over to where Ali is stood with the referees waiting for her. She laughs when Ali forgoes the handshake for a hug, and it lets her take a moment to reflect on how far they’ve come. From co-captains and best friends at Stanford, to captains of their own national teams, while still being best friends. Ali’s smile lets her know that she understands completely. 

“It’s only ninety-minutes, relax,” Ali whispers to her.

The armband starts to feel less tight.

-

“I’m excited for my free beers,” Kelley says to Ali after the final whistle blows. Ali rolls her eyes but lets Kelley hug her anyway.

“We need to get a picture later, don’t forget,” Ali says, as she’s intercepted by Christen.

Kelley takes the moment alone to take in the crowd and the people around her. She watches as Tobin and Alex go over to the stands to bring down Jed and Lucy. She feels so lucky that she’s able to share this with her children and her best friends. Lucy immediately runs over to a football that one of the New Zealand players kick over to her.

Alex tells her to shoot, and Lucy obeys, kicking the ball and watching it roll a few centimetres away from her. She keeps going, and the crowd grow silent, watching her. It takes her seventh kick to get the ball over the line and when she does the whole crowd roar for her. Lucy looks around confused at the noise before grinning and throwing her arms in the air, like she’s seen her mom do so many times. Kelley’s proud smile matches Alex’s perfectly.

-

They’re at some kind of club, Alex’s parents offering to take their kids for the night to let them celebrate. She’s sat in a booth opposite Tobin and Christen, the alcohol making them clingy and sit pressed together. She watches Tobin lean in for a kiss and end up missing, lips hitting Christen’s chin instead, making Christen laugh. Alex plays with her engagement ring absent-mindedly, as she looks away to find Kelley in the crowd. She catches sight of her, hand wrapped around a beer bottle, head thrown back laughing at something Ali says. She can’t help but think back to the pregnancy memory, it had been on her mind for the past two days.

“We were really happy, weren’t we?” It’s more of a statement than a question, and Tobin and Christen glance at each other, needing a second to understand what she meant.

“Of course you were. I’ve never seen two people more in love,” Christen tells her.

Alex already knew that though. She can see it in the life they had built, see it in their children, see it in their home, she can see it in the way they look at each other in pictures, she can feel it in her memories. She doesn’t know why that makes her feel so sad now.

“So you two definitely are just friends right? Back in your world?” Christen questions, interrupting her thoughts.

“Yes,” Alex says, but it doesn’t sound convincing. “Why?”

“No reason,” Christen says, watching her carefully.

Before she question her further, Kelley comes over to their booth, laughing, clearly tipsy. “Come on, wifey, you owe me a dance.”

Alex looks at Kelley’s outstretched hand, before glancing at the couple opposite her. Christen gives her a knowing smile.

She closes her hand around Kelley’s and lets her pull her up.

-

_ Kelley offers to drive Alex and Tobin home since they came to Stanford that evening to see Ali and Christen. Tobin’s dropped off first and gives them both a knowing smile as she leaves the car. Kelley pulls into the parking lot of Alex’s dorm, and turns off the car. She turns to look at Alex, who’s already looking at her with a soft smile. _

_ Kelley leans over the centre console to pull Alex in by her jacket- Kelley’s denim jacket- and kiss her. It’s the first they’ve been properly alone in days. They pull back and Alex leans her forehead against Kelley’s. _

_ “Hi,” Alex says against her lips, almost shy. _

_ “Hi,” Kelley says, smiling and tilting her head to press a kiss against Alex’s cheek. “Let me take you out on a date.” _

_ “I thought Kelley O’Hara didn’t do the whole dating thing,” Alex says in a teasing tone. “What changed?” _

_ “I met you,” Kelley says, completely serious. Alex’s hand traces over the freckles on her cheek gently. _

_ “I bet you say that to all the girls,” Alex says. _

_ “Only the pretty ones,” Kelley says, half-smile on her face. Alex shakes her head with an amused smile before leaning back to kiss her again. _

_ \- _

_** Kel:** are u free tmr evening? _

** _ Al_ _:_ ** _yes, am I allowed to know why ur asking?_

_** Kel:** that’s for me to know- i’ll pick u up at 4:30 _

_** Al:** what should i wear? _

_** Kel:** preferably nothing _

_ It’s a risky text, but she’s feeling courageous. _

_** Al:** maybe if u behave ;) _

_ Kelley wasn’t expecting that. She wants to almost just take Alex back to hers tomorrow so they can finally have sex, but she also knows that Alex deserves to be treated right. _

_** Kel:** if that’s on the table then I’m on my best behaviour, scouts honour _

_** Kel:** wear smth cute and summery, but bring a jacket. _

_** Al:** see u tmr then x _

_** Kel:** can’t wait to see u, pretty girl x _

_** Al:** <3 _

_ She stares at the little red heart, and overanalyses what it could mean until Ali barges into her room. _

_ “I thought you were hurt or something, you need to start putting more context in your messages,” Ali says, looking down at Kelley’s message on her phone that said ‘HELP’.“What do you need help with?” _

_ “I’m taking Alex on a date tomorrow-” _

_ “Look at you being all romantic, I never thought I’d see the day. What’s your date with Alex got to do with me though?” _

_ “Well if you would let me finish, I was wondering if you would help me make food for a picnic?” _

_ The look on Ali’s face definitely told Kelley that she wasn’t going to hear the end of the teasing for a long time, but it would be worth it to see Alex smile tomorrow. She knew that Alex loved romantic gestures like this, and for the first time in Kelley’s life, she could kind of see why. _

_ They bicker for way too long over what constitutes picnic food and maybe it would have been quicker for Kelley to do this by herself, but she also knows that Ali’s homemade brownies would make anyone fall in love with her, so it’s a small price to pay. _

_ “It’s nice, you know, to see you care this much about a girl,” Ali says, as they wait for the brownies to bake. _

_ “It’s Alex.” Kelley says, with a shrug. _

_ \- _

_ Kelley waits outside for Alex to come out, and when she does, her breath is taken away. Alex is dressed in this cute summer dress and Kelley’s denim jacket. Kelley really has a thing for Alex wearing her clothes, and the dress makes Alex’s legs look endless and tan. Kelley pushes off the car to walk over to Alex, who loops her hands around Kelley’s neck and kisses her cheek, making Kelley’s face heat up. _

_ “You look gorgeous,” Kelley says, running her hands down Alex’s sides. Alex bites her lip shyly. _

_ “Thank you, Kel,” Alex says, intertwining their hand. _

_ “Come on, it’s kind of a long drive,” Kelley says, walking hand-in-hand to the car so she can open the door for Alex. _

_ “Such a gentleman,” Alex teases, before Kelley closes the door after her. _

_ Kelley jogs over to the driver’s side before getting in. She makes sure they’ve both put their seatbelt on before starting the drive. Alex tries to make Kelley tell her where they’re going but Kelley stays strong. Alex gives up and just relaxes, listening to the music and enjoying the view (which is mostly her staring at Kelley’s profile). Kelley smiles whenever she catches her staring, and by the fifth time, she reaches over and takes Alex’s hand. She brings it up to her lips to kiss the back of it, before letting their intertwined hands rest on Alex’s knee. _

_ \- _

_ Alex is woken up by Kelley gently shaking her shoulder. “We’ve arrived,” she murmurs, leaning in through Alex’s door she had opened to kiss her. She pulls back and grins at Alex’s dazed expression before holding out a hand. Alex takes it and is helped out of the car by Kelley. _

_ Alex looks around and realises they’re in a parking lot in front of a beach. Then she looks down and notices the picnic basket in Kelley’s hand, before looking up at Kelley who’s avoiding her eyes. Alex can’t help the endeared smile on her face, “Picnic on the beach?” _

_ “I thought we could watch the sunset, I don’t know it was dumb, the beach is kind of our place right?” Kelley trails off, still looking down at her feet. Alex didn’t know one person could be this cute. She tugs on Kelley’s t-shirt to pull her a step closer to her. _

_ “This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” she says quietly, and it makes Kelley look up at her with that half-smile. _

_ “Really?” She says, and the hopefulness in Kelley’s voice almost makes her heart grow. _

_ “I didn’t know you were so damn romantic,” Alex says, leaning to kiss Kelley, and it hits her again that she’s the luckiest girl in the world because she can do this whenever she wants. _

_ “For you, I am,” Kelley says. “I remember you calling me romantic the day we met.” _

_ Alex can’t believe she didn’t see it then and there, that she didn’t see that falling in love with Kelley was inevitable. _

_ \- _

_ Kelley lays down a blanket for them to sit on and then unpacks the food she’s brought. Alex didn’t think she could fall for Kelley anymore than she had but then she’s watching the sunset while Kelley pulls her closer into her side and presses a kiss on the top of her head while Alex finishes another one of Ali’s brownies (she made a mental note to text her for the recipe later), and she can’t help but fall deeper. _

_ Kelley’s sorority sisters also helped her make some kind of sangria that is strong enough for Alex to get giggly and press kisses down the side of Kelley’s neck. Kelley rolls her eyes and pretends she doesn’t love it as she calls her a lightweight. Kelley takes out her camera and snaps a picture of Alex leaning back into Kelley’s chest, her head just under Kelley’s chin. As they look at the picture, she takes in their matching wide smiles and she just thinks that they both look so content, that’s the only way she can describe it. She would be more embarrassed by how she’s smiling dumbly at the picture if Kelley wasn’t doing the same. _

_ They sit out on the beach for more than an hour but Alex can feel the tension growing as they get through the picnic and the question comes up when they wonder what they’re going to do next. _

_ “You could come back to mine?” Kelley puts out there as if they both weren’t thinking about this for weeks now. _

_ “Yeah I’d like that,” Alex says slowly, and it’s almost comical at how quickly they pack up and walk - practically jog- back to the car. Kelley makes the drive back to Stanford with a hand casually resting on Alex’s bare knee that manages to find itself higher and higher every time she places it back after changing gear. It drives Alex crazy and she honestly contemplates just taking Kelley’s hand and putting it under her dress but she’s trying to keep it somewhat together until the get back to the privacy of Kelley’s room. She doesn’t think she’s been this sexually frustrated in years. _

_ Kelley turns off the car and turns to look at Alex, who already has her seatbelt unbuckled and surges over the centre console to kiss Kelley. Her hands travel from Kelley’s cheek down her neck to rest on her biceps, loving how they tense under her touch. Kelley is pulling her in closer using her denim jacket and Alex gasps as Kelley bites down on her lip. Kelley pulls away breathless and says against her lips, “I thought you weren’t supposed to kiss on the first date.” _

_ “I think we’re way past that,” Alex says, squeezing Kelley’s biceps. _

_ “Come on in then,” Kelley says, unbuckling her own seatbelt and getting out. She struggles to find her keys and it takes her three tries to unlock the door. She does though, and lets Alex walk in first, before following her, locking the door and then leaning against it. They look at each other for a charged moment before they’re kissing again. Kelley’s pushing her up against the wall before dragging her into the living room, still kissing. _

_ Alex only really thinks the universe is against her when they hear gasps and break apart to notice Ali and what seems to be the rest of Kelley’s friends all watching them with open mouths. Alex looks at Kelley, who’s looking over at Ali and having a telepathic conversation with her. It’s silent for too long. _

_ “So I take it the date went well?” Ali finally says, shooting Alex an apologetic look, but she still looks amused. She hears a few people giggle, and even she’s seeing the humour in this, even if it’s overshadowed largely by the embarrassment she’s feeling. _

_ “You could say that,” Kelley says, and it’s silent again. _

_ Thankfully, the angel that is Christen Press seems to take pity on them and says, “Well, we all have things to do, so…” She gets up and gives Alex a small smirk before disappearing up the stairs. This seems to put everyone in motion and they all follow in suit, either avoiding Alex’s eyes or giving her knowing looks. It’s just Ali left. _

_ “I didn’t know Alex would be coming back,” she says, putting her hands up in surrender. “She really seemed like the kind of girl that would stick to the three date rule.” _

_ “I totally am,” Alex says, defensively, but Ali raises an eyebrow at her. “But it’s been like a whole month!” _

_ “Well, don’t let me keep you two, go have fun,” Ali says, shaking her head at the two of them. “Use protection though,” she adds, amused smirk back in full force, and Kelley looks like she’s considering throwing a cushion at Ali but she reevaluates her priorities and takes Alex’s hand. Alex looks at Kelley, who just shrugs and takes her hand before leading her up to her bedroom. _

_ \- _

_ Kelley can’t believe her luck when she’s got Alex sat in her lap, straddling her and kissing down her neck. Alex pulls back and goes to unbutton Kelley’s blouse when Kelley notices her hands are shaking. She takes them in her own and looks at Alex with a frown, “Are you nervous?” _

_ Alex bites her lip, before nodding. Kelley tilts her head with an endeared smile. _

_ “It’s okay to be nervous. First time with a girl and all,” Kelley says, and Alex frowns now. _

_ “I’m not nervous because you’re a girl. I’m nervous because you’re you, Kel. I just want this to be good for you,” Alex says, avoiding Kelley’s eyes. _

_ “Are you kidding? It’s already good for me, I’ve got the prettiest girl in the world in my lap right now. It doesn’t get any better than this,” Kelley says, half smile on her lips. Alex rolls her eyes but her cheeks are definitely pinker than they were a second ago. _

_ “That would be corny from anyone else but you’re so damn charming,” Alex says, kissing the top of Kelley’s head and then her lips again. Kelley’s hands are on Alex’s knee, which was bare as her sundress had ridden up. Now Kelley starts to feel nervous, and her palms feel sweaty. She pulls back. “What’s wrong?” _

_ “You’ve only had sex with one guy right?” Kelley asks, and Alex raises an eyebrow. _

_ “Yes… although I’m not sure why you’re bringing up my ex-boyfriend right this minute.” _

_ “It’s just that… I’m thinking that you’re probably used to having sex like a certain way, and I don’t want to disappoint.” _

_ “You’re scared of disappointing me? From what I’ve heard you’ve fucked every available girl on campus, so you have tons more experience than me.” _

_ “Not every girl-“ Kelley starts to protest. _

_ “Not the point. All I’m saying is, I’m going to enjoy myself because I’m doing this with you Kelley. We’ll figure out the rest as we go.” _

_ Kelley smiles and kisses her again now. She pushes the jacket off Alex’s shoulders and lets her hand run down the exposed skin on her arms and back. Alex goes to unbutton Kelley’s blouse again but this time her hands are steady. Kelley shrugs out of it and throws it somewhere behind Alex as Alex pushes Kelley back on the bed. Kelley pushes up on her elbows to look at her as Alex looks down at her abs and smoothes her hands over them, enjoying how the muscles twitch underneath her palms. _

_ “Have I mentioned how much I love your abs?” Alex murmurs, as her hand moves up higher to skim over the bottom of Kelley’s bra. _

_ “You might have once or twice, but your constant staring really gave it away,” Kelley says, trying to keep her voice steady. Alex grins because she fails miserably. “You have too many clothes on by the way.” _

_ “Do something about it then if you have a problem with it,” Alex says with a small smirk, and Kelley pushes herself up fully to pull the dress up over Alex’s head. She just stops for a moment to take Alex in, and again can’t believe that this is actually happening, that she actually has a pretty much naked Alex Morgan in her lap. She’s wearing lace underwear that takes Kelley breath away and is looking at her with this shy smile that makes Kelley want to kiss her. So she does. _

_ “You’re so beautiful,” Kelley murmurs, cupping Alex’s face in her hands gently. _

_ “I don’t really know what I’m doing, you know that right?” Alex says, and Kelley gives her that half-smile. _

_ “We’ll take it as slow as you want, Al,” Kelley says, before flipping Alex over onto the bed gently. _

_ “Smooth,” Alex says, before pulling Kelley down to kiss her again. _

-

Alex wakes up in the bed next to Kelley, heart racing and thighs sticky. She still feels a little tipsy and that dream really hadn’t helped, especially the fact it was cut short just when Kelley was half-way through going down on her. She looks over at Kelley, who’s sleeping soundly next to her. She contemplates going to the shower to sort herself out, but that might wake her up. Instead she snakes her hand down underneath the blankets and under her underwear, wanting to get rid of the building desperation. It feels dirty having Kelley next to her, but it encourages her if anything.

She hears Kelley stir next to her, breathing out shakily, and she knows then that they must have had the same dream again. She knows that the chink of moonlight is making it very obvious what she’s up to, but she can’t find it within herself to stop either, too worked up. She feels Kelley tense next to her when she realises what she’s doing. She doesn’t know what she’s expecting from Kelley but it definitely isn’t for her to turn on her side to face Alex.

Alex rolls her head slightly to look at Kelley, who’s focused on the area on the sheet where Alex’s hand is moving. Alex can’t help the moan that slips out, and it’s like that’s all the encouragement Kelley needs to run her fingers excruciatingly slowly down Alex’s bicep, down her arm, under the sheet, and then they join Alex’s fingers, and Alex whimpers.

She lets Kelley take over from there, working her fingers in the way that she knows Alex likes, hovering slightly over her to get a deeper angle. She wants to kiss her more than anything, but she thinks it would make it too real if she did, instead she just loses herself in the way Kelley fucks her. She’d almost forgotten how good Kelley was at this, and it doesn’t take that long at all for her to bring Alex over the edge and she likes the way Kelley groans when she bites down on her shoulder when she comes.

Alex catches her breath as Kelley falls back next to her. They both stare at the ceiling and don’t talk about it.

-


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute. A scene in this chapter was inspired by FRIENDS, heads up. Also, I love Alex Morgan.

Alex wakes up to an empty bed. She sighs and rolls over to push her face into Kelley’s pillow, hating herself for being so irresponsibly horny, and hating herself even more for enjoying the smell of Kelley left on the pillow.

It’s at that moment that Kelley decides to enter the room, giving Alex barely enough time to roll over to her side of the bed and pretend like she wasn’t sniffing Kelley’s pillow like a creep.

“Hey!” Alex says, trying to sound cheerful and not as unsure as she felt.

Kelley doesn’t look at her, just nods in her direction. “I got you some coffee,” she mumbles, putting a coffee on the bedside table. “The bus is leaving in half an hour, so you should get ready soon. The kids are downstairs with your parents.”

Kelley doesn’t make eye contact, and it tells Alex exactly how they were going to play this: by pretending that it didn’t happen, which is fine, they’ve had far more practice at that than they needed to perfect it. “I’m going to take a shower then,” Alex says slowly, part of her wanting to ask if Kelley wanted to join her, but she doesn’t because she isn’t that dumb in the light of day.

She pretends like she can't feel Kelley's eyes on her as she strips off and walks into the bathroom.

-

_They’re at a New Year’s Party at Kelley’s sorority house, and it’s been four months since they’d started dating._

_“Do you want a drink?” Kelley asks. Alex nods, and Kelley kisses the side of her head before heading to the kitchen to refill Alex’s cup. She returns to find Alex talking to a girl that looked very familiar. She panics when she realises it was Heather, a girl Kelley had hooked up with last year and never called._

_“I guess you’re Kelley’s new plaything,” she overhears her say._

_“It’s not like that,” Kelley interrupts, handing Alex her drink. Heather looks at her coldly before looking at Alex._

_“Are you her girlfriend?”_

_Shit._

_Kelley was going to ask Alex officially literally next week, but of course this was just her luck._

_Alex looks at Kelley, with a questioning look. Kelley doesn’t know what to say, but she knows she has to say something because they’re both staring at her._

_“Well, no,” Kelley finally says. Alex’s face visibly falls and Kelley feels like a jackass._

_Heather puts on a fake smile._

_“Look sweetie, don’t waste your time with her. She’s never going to change, and you’re never going to be the one to change her. Everyone knows that Kelley doesn’t like to be tied down. She’ll get bored of you soon enough, and then you’ll be like the rest of us.”_

_Heather walks away then, leaving Alex and Kelley._

_Kelley opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Alex doesn’t wait for her to come up with something._

_“I need to get out of here,” Alex says, turning on her heel and disappearing through the crowd._

_Kelley’s frozen for a second, before wondering why the hell she was still standing there. “Alex, wait,” Kelley runs after her, trying to push through the crowds._

_She sees her leaving the house through the front door, and speeds up, managing to catch her up just before she reached the street. “Alex! Please, let’s talk about this.”_

_“I need some space,” Alex says, but she’s stopped walking which Kelley takes as a good sign._

_“Do you need space from me?” Kelley asks, feeling scared to hear the reply._

_Alex sighs, but turns around and shakes her head. Kelley breathes a sigh of relief._

_“Can I drive you somewhere? We can go talk?” Kelley tries, and Alex nods. They walk to her car and it takes everything in Kelley not to reach for Alex’s hand._

_Kelley opens the car door for her though, and Alex thanks her quietly. The drive is silent, and not the usual comfortable one, but an unfamiliar tense one. She goes to turn on the radio at the same time as Alex, and their fingers brush and they both freeze and it all feels a little too high school._

_Alex pulls away first and Kelley clears her throat and turns on the radio. She doesn’t really know where she’s going until she’s pulling into the parking lot of their beach. Alex looks around and musters a small smile at the location._

_Alex gets out and starts walking out towards the beach, Kelley following at a distance. She watches Alex stretch out her arms above her head before dropping down on the sand, and it reminds her all too much of the night Alex and her had got together. She takes her time joining her, trying to figure out exactly what she wants to say._

_She sits down, leaving a weird amount of space between them. “Are you okay?”_

_“Not really, Kel. I feel like shit.”_

_“Why?” Kelley asks, wanting to do anything to make Alex smile again._

_“It makes me feel like shit, because this relationship and you mean a lot to me, and to hear that you don’t feel the same way kind of sucks a lot. It sucks having to run into one of your ex-hookups and then for her to reduce what we are to nothing is even worse. How do you think it feels to hear that I’m just another girl to you when I love you?” Alex says, throwing her arms up. She gasps when she realises what she’s said._

_Kelley’s jaw drops, her heart feeling like it was going to beat out of her chest. “You… what?”_

_“Shut up, ignore that,” Alex says, covering her face with her hands._

_Kelley snaps out of her daze, and gently pulls her hands away from her face. Alex doesn’t put up much of a fight. “No, I don’t think I will. You love me?”_

_“Don’t make it weird,” Alex whines, “I’m still angry at you.”_

_“You love me,” Kelley repeats, and she can’t help the giant smile on her face. Alex loves her. She loves Alex. Shit. She should probably tell Alex that. Kelley takes Alex’s hand places it over her chest. Alex feels Kelley’s heart race under her fingertips, and looks at Kelley._

_“What are you doing?”_

_"Do you feel that?" Kelley asks._

_Alex nods._

_"I love you.”_

_This causes Alex to falter. “Really?” She asks, and Kelley nods vigorously._

_“Like a lot,” Kelley says, grinning. “And as for the girlfriend thing, I was planning on asking you, officially, next week. We’ve just been so busy with the College Cup and stuff, and now that we’re back from Christmas, I thought I could take you on a date and ask you properly with flowers and everything. But this will have to do. Alex, I haven’t looked at anyone else since I met you, honestly. You mean everything to me, and I have never felt about anyone the way I do about you. Will you be my girlfriend?”_

_“Of course, Kel,” Alex says, the hand on Kelley’s chest scrunching up her shirt to pull her in for a kiss._

_It’s not long until they hear the New Year’s fireworks. _

-

The day of press is something else because it reminds Alex that she’s kind of a big deal. Everyone’s expecting her to stand in front of all the cameras as some kind of spokesperson for the team. When they told her she was the face of women’s soccer, she didn’t really grasp how big that was now until she sees the crowds of people wearing her jerseys and screaming her name. It's different from seeing it in a stadium.

She's made sure to watch lots of interviews of herself and it still shocks her to see just how composed she is, how comfortable she is with the eyes of the world on her. She knows it comes with years of practice and she has no idea how to emulate that now. She finds herself freeze a little when she's asked what's the message she has for the young girls looking up to them. She wants to say that she doesn't know, she had wanted to play soccer because she fell in love with it, not realising that one day she would be the face of a movement bigger than soccer. She didn't realise _she_ could be bigger than soccer.

She looks at the girls stood in USWNT jerseys across from her and she manages to come up with an answer which is enough to make Michael Strahan nod and move on. She catches one of the girls looking up at her in awe and gives her a small smile that makes the girl give her a shy smile back. It's the little things that remind her exactly what she's fighting for.

-

There’s something beautiful watching the awe on Kelley's face as she looks around Time’s Square. Alex wonders why she’s more enraptured by Kelley then the literal pictures of her up all around them. She’s beautiful, Alex thinks, watching Kelley turn back to look at her with a slightly disbelieving smile, eyebrow raised as if she was asking “Can you believe this?”

Alex returns her smile, getting lost in the way the lights bring out the gold in her eyes. Kelley smiles and takes her hand, pulling her to stand next to her. 

"What are you thinking?" Kelley asks.

Alex is thinking that Kelley is unbelievably beautiful. "This is unbelievably beautiful," is what she says.

Kelley squeezes her hand and makes Alex feel taller than the billboards around her.

-

_Alex watches Kelley play with Christie’s kids in the pool from where she’s sitting on a pool chair, and she thinks Kelley would make the best parent in the world. _

_“Stop staring,” Christen says, not looking at her._

_“I could say the same to you,” Alex says, and takes pleasure in watching Christen blush._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Christen says, but she’s a poor liar, always has been._

_“Sure, you’re just staring at the wall behind her,” Alex deadpans, and Christen sighs._

_“I’m not that obvious, am I?” Christen says, and Alex smiles._

_“A little, but Tobin’s the most oblivious person I’ve ever met so stare away,” Alex says, laughing. “It’s going well then I take it?”_

_Christen bites her lip shyly, “Yeah, ever since her and Shirley broke up.”_

_“Get in there, Press,” Alex cheers, making Christen laugh and capturing the attention of Tobin. She looks at Christen over her sunglasses, and they smile at each other in a way that makes Alex want to gag. “Fucking hell, it’s like we’re back in college.”_

_“Shut up, Alex,” Christen whines, and Alex laughs again and this time Kelley notices. She excuses herself and gets out of the pool, and Alex really enjoys how the water makes her abs glisten. Alex throws her a towel, which she uses to dry herself._

_“Move up,” Kelley says, dropping down on the seat next to Alex._

_“You’re all wet,” Alex complains, moving up so Kelley can sit. She takes a look at the expression on Kelley’s face and rolls her eyes “Don’t you dare.”_

_Kelley’s mouth shuts, and then she mutters “Killjoy.” Kelley shifts, “Okay, I have an idea, get up.” Alex does as she’s told, and Kelley stretches out and opens up her arms. Alex smiles and climbs into Kelley’s lap, and rests her head against hers. Kelley wraps her arms around her and traces shapes on her back lazily._

_“Do you want kids?” Alex asks, and Kelley’s taken aback and her fingers still against her back._

_“Where’s this coming from?” Kelley asks, recovering, her fingers continuing their ministrations again._

_“Seeing you with those kids made me realise how good you are with them,” Alex admits._

_“I knew I could feel someone staring at me,” Kelley teases, and Alex smacks her arm._

_“I’m serious, Kel. This is something we should discuss properly, before we get married.”_

_Kelley presses a kiss against Alex’s forehead, “Yeah, I’ve always wanted them, especially with you, but it’s hard to balance that with our careers. You’re Alex Morgan, no rest for America’s sweetheart. Sometime in the future though, but we’ll have to be living together properly and I don’t know when that’s going to happen in the near future.”_

_“You’ve given it a lot of thought,” and it’s more of a statement than a question._

_“Yes, of course I have, I want it all with you, Al,” Kelley says, “Kids, a dog, a family.”_

_“And have a house near the sea so we can go surfing,” Alex adds. “And we can take the kids every weekend.”_

_“A house?”_

_“We’ll need more space for the kids and dogs than the apartment. I’m sure we can go house hunting at some point when it’s more realistic,” Alex says, shrugging. _

_“LA?” Kelley asks, referring to the fact that they’ve always wanted to move back to California at some point._

_“LA,” Alex confirms, kissing Kelley and wanting this future more than anything with her. “I can’t wait for forever with you.”_

_Kelley kisses her again, intertwining their hands. The ring reminds the two of them that forever isn’t too far away._

-

It’s their final game in the States, and Alex can see Kelley getting progressively more and more annoyed with every touch of the ball. She can tell that something’s bothering her because it didn’t really take much to see it.

“What is it?” Alex asks, when Kelley joins her on the bench before the send off ceremony starts, rubbing her eyes with her hands.

“What do you mean?”

“Something's clearly wrong with you,” Alex states. She’s to the point because she knows it’s the best way to get Kelley to open up. “So talk to me.”

“Can you believe I’ve had to have another ankle surgery?” Kelley finally explodes, and Alex is silent, letting Kelley speak about something she was clearly bottling. “Do you know how hard it was to get through the fucking first one, Alex? But I did, I was patient, I was doing rehab, and I was getting better, and I clearly do get better, but what was the fucking point if it’s going to happen all over again a few years later?”

Alex takes a moment to take this in, heart breaking a little at the helplessness in Kelley’s voice. She remembers Kelley’s ankle injury all too well, it was only a couple of weeks ago in their world where she was still recovering from it. She remembers how defeated she looked and how Alex didn’t know what she could say to make it better. She didn't think she could say anything, not when Kelley didn't need her since she had Ann.

“Kelley, injuries come hand in hand with this job, you know that,” Alex finally says. “But look, I get it, that ankle injury almost ended your career, but you didn’t let it, you kept fighting and working and training, because that’s who you are. You get healthy again, you go win a World Cup, then you get injured again, and you get healthy again to fight for another. It might happen again after this, but I still know that you’re going to get through that too, because you don’t give up, Kel, and that’s what I love about you.”

Kelley looks at her for a long moment after her little pep talk. Alex feels victorious when she sees the beginnings of a small yet clear smile.

“Now come on, I don’t want to see you be all mopey in France, we’ve got another World Cup to win.”

“Yes, boss,” Kelley says, saluting her, smile growing, and Alex knows her job here is done.

-

_Her family had come to visit her during Spring Break. They were in the apartment Kelley shared with Ali and Christen, the latter of whom was missing in action suspiciously at the same time as Tobin. Alex was there too as she had stayed the night, in Kelley’s bed, next to Kelley, but this was something her parents didn’t need to know._

_She realises they’d run out of milk and decides to run out to get some from the store down the road. She announces this to the room, getting ready to leave by putting on her jacket._

_"O_ _k_ _ay, I’ll be right back,” Kelley says, bending down to do what was natural to her, which was kiss Alex. She freezes as soon as their lips touch, and jerks back immediately. She turns to look at her parents and brother, who looks as shocked as she feels, and her sister, who’s smirking._

_No one says anything, and Kelley wishes the ground would swallow her up._

_“Bye, Kelley,” Ali says, moving into action, and she does what she thinks is the most rational thing to do, which was apparently walking over to Kelley and kissing her. Kelley doesn’t know how to react, just tries not to push her away, and she doesn’t know if there’s ever been two people who didn’t want to kiss more, but she thinks it strangely the sweetest thing Ali’s ever done for her. Ali pulls back, and both of them are clearly itching to wipe their mouth but Kelley might as well commit at this point._

_Her parents look like they were going to faint, and Erin is shaking from silent laughter in the corner, whereas Alex is glaring at Ali._

_“Bye, Ali,” Kelley says, avoiding everyone’s eyes. She practically runs out of there, slamming the door behind her and using her palm to wipe away any trace of Ali from her mouth. She cannot believe this is how her parents were going to find out, and that she’s now left Alex to deal with all the questions._

_Shit._

_She can’t leave Alex to deal with the aftermath. She can’t do that. Her love for Alex outweighs her fear of dealing with this, surely? She can do this, she knows deep down her parents are going to be okay with it but it’s still terrifying._

_But she loves her. She loves her and doesn’t want to hide it._

_She ignores every instinct telling her to run and takes a deep breath before throwing the door open and marching back in._

_“I’m gay,” she announces, looking straight at her parents, “and Alex is my girlfriend.”_

_“Okay, and is Ali your girlfriend too?” is what her mom says, and it’s not quite what she’s expecting._

_“Oh God no, I’m just an extremely good friend,” Ali interjects._

_“That you like to kiss?” Her dad asks, and Kelley’s back to wanting to die._

_“No, that was a one time thing,” Kelley says._

_“Well…” Ali draws out. Kelley’s going to kill her. “There was that one other time but that was spin the bottle so it doesn’t really count.”_

_“Thank you, Ali,” Kelley says, through gritted teeth._

_“Okay, well thanks for telling us,” her mom says. It’s a little underwhelming._

_“That’s it?” Kelley says._

_“Well, we kind of had a feeling since you were a kid, and obviously we love you no matter what. Plus, we love Alex and you’re clearly happy together, so we’re happy that you’re happy,” her mom says, shrugging._

_“Yeah, kiddo, this doesn’t change anything,” her dad adds._

_Kelley feels a wave of relief wash over her, and she goes over to hug the both of the tight. “Love you, guys.”_

_“Alex is really good for you,” her mom whispers in her ear. Kelley smiles._

_“I know.”_

-

_“I told my parents by the way,” Alex says to her later on the balcony._

_“Yeah?” Kelley asks, wrapping her arms around her waist and kissing the side of her head._

_“Yeah. They’re happy for me, and they really like you but my sisters are totally going to interrogate you next time they see you.”_

_Kelley laughs. “I expected that.” She breathes out, feeling everything she was worried about fading to nothing when she has Alex in her arms “I love you.”_

_“I love you too, even if you did cheat on me with Ali.”_

_“That was non-consensual, babe,” Kelley whines. “I think she was trying to make the situation less awkward.”_

_“In what universe would that have made things less awkward?”_

_“I don't know, ask Ali.”_

_“I guess I would have found it cute if she wasn’t kissing my girlfriend. It was very brave of you to come and save me from the awkwardness after though,” Alex says, before turning serious. “I’m proud of you.”_

_Kelley doesn’t reply, just holds Alex tighter and kisses her shoulder. It’s more than enough._

-

Their next stop is England. They spend a whole day with alpacas, which are animals that scare Jed to death apparently, Alex having to carry him the entire way. Lucy’s on the other extreme and wants to hug their alpaca, which means Kelley has to spend the entire walk trying to keep her from being stampeded. It’s strangely domestic, even while surrounded by the rest of their teammates. Alex and Kelley exchange looks of endeared exhaustion by the time they get back and Jed finally lets Alex put him down on the ground.

“That was a good workout,” Alex comments, dropping down on the seat next to Kelley, watching her zip up Lucy’s coat.

“So was being dragged through muddy fields by a two year old,” Kelley comments, “I don’t know how that kid’s so strong.”

“She is _your_ kid,” Alex says, watching Kelley’s lips quirk up into one of her favourite soft smiles. They watch Lucy chase Jed around, pretending to be an alpaca, laughing at Jed’s screams.

Alex’s hand finds Kelley’s, and they sit there like that for a moment, focusing on the kids and not their racing hearts. The moment’s ruined when Jed falls face first into a large patch of mud.

Kelley sighs, dropping Alex’s hand. “Duty calls.”

Alex smiles at the disappointment in her voice.

-

_“Five more minutes,” Kelley mumbles, as Alex attempts to get out of bed. _

_Alex rolls her eyes fondly as Kelley’s grip on her tightens and she’s pulled back into her original place against Kelley. _

_“Baby, I need to take a shower before the kids wake up,” Alex says, trying to detangle Kelley’s hair by brushing her fingers through them._

_Kelley opens an eye at that. “Shower?”_

_“Are you going to join me?” Alex asks, and Kelley smirks._

_“Of course,” she says. “Will there ever be a day when I say no to that question, babe?”_

_Alex smiles and kisses her on the nose before rolling out of Kelley’s grasp successfully this time. “Go check on the kids first.”_

_She takes off her t shirt and her underwear, well aware of Kelley’s eyes on her. “It’s rude to stare, babe.”_

_“It’s not my fault that you seem to get hotter every year.”_

_“Charmer,” Alex says, leaning down to kiss Kelley’s forehead. “Don’t leave me waiting too long.”_

_Kelley watches her leave with a soft smile._

_-_

_Alex jumps as she feels cold hands grip her hips. _

_“It’s only me,” Kelley says, kissing Alex’s back._

_“Kids?”_

_“Still asleep,” Kelley confirms._

_Alex smirks as she turns around._

_“Hi,” she whispers, close enough that their lips brush._

_“Hi.”_

_“Happy birthday,” Alex says, before closing the distance. She pulls away after nipping at her bottom lip._

_“And here I was thinking you’d forgotten,” Kelley says, a little breathless._

_“The kids have made you a card, well, they scribbled on a card, and then Jed tried to eat it, but I managed to salvage it. I have to let you know that I don’t think they really understand it’s your birthday,” Alex says._

_Kelley laughs, “It’s the thought that counts, I guess. What about you? What did you get me?”_

_“I gave birth to your children, what more do you want from me?” Alex asks, leaning to kiss down Kelley’s neck._

_“I thought they were our children,” Kelley retorts._

_“I did have something in mind though, as your first present of the day?” Alex whispers against Kelley’s ear, before biting down on her earlobe._

_“Yeah?” Kelley manages to say, “What is it?”_

_Alex pulls back and smirks before dropping down onto her knees._

-

The days leading up to the tournament pass by in a blur of training, team building, and spending time with the kids. It’s not long at all before Alex is sat on the bus to their first World Cup game.

“Okay, what’s going on with you?” Tobin asks, when Alex sits down next to her. Tobin could read Alex’s nerves well.

“I… Well I guess, other me scored my 100th goal last month,” Alex says, and Tobin waits for her to say what she really wants to. “I haven’t scored in the last two games, Tobin. I’m scared I’m fucking this up,” Alex says. 

Tobin sighs, like she knew what Alex was going to say.

“Alex, you’re not as fast as you used to be,” Tobin says, and then at the look on Alex’s face, she quickly continues, “Still faster than most of us, don’t worry, but what I’m trying to say is that you knew this. You knew you couldn’t always outrun the defence and that’s okay. You take advantage of the fact that everyone knows who you are, that every defender is scared as hell of Alex Morgan. You attract defenders and make space, you create chances, you defend. You are so much more than a goalscorer, and that is why our whole system is built around you. You need to relax and just adapt to your new role, and that’ll take time.”

Tobin finishes her little speech and starts rooting through her bag, leaving Alex to process what she’s just said. She knows it came with maturity, the ability to change her role on the team from the young sidekick to Abby back then to the centre of the attack. She needed to start playing that role instead of the way she was used to playing in 2013.

Tobin emerges from her bag with a worn packet of cards she recognises immediately. “Monop deal?” Alex asks, with a slightly disbelieving smile. Surely they would have gotten better ways to pass the time by now?

Tobin shrugs, wide smile in place. “Can’t break tradition, right?”

“Never.”

-

It’s a lot of pressure, having to have the first time she wears the captain’s armband to have to be at the Word Cup. She’s jittery as Kelley slips it over her arm and pats it gently.

“You get used to it, trust me,” she says. She doesn’t know how Kelley can read her so easily. “Score some goals for me, yeah?”

“How many would you like?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow.

Kelley looks down at her own jersey, before pointing at the number.

“Is that all?” Alex asks, with a laugh of disbelief.

“You have my full faith, bud,” Kelley says, patting her cheek.

Alex hides her smile as she walks away.

-

It’s not even fifteen minutes into the game when Kelley manages to take the ball into the right hand side of the box and cross it without even looking up, somehow knowing Alex will be on the end of it.

Goal.

She wonders why she’s not even surprised that the first goal she scores is assisted by Kelley. Alex runs straight to her, who’s stood waiting for her with an expression that shouts proud even from across the field. She wraps her arms around Kelley’s neck, ignoring everyone else, because despite all the crowds, it really feels like just her and Kelley.

“Never any doubt,” Kelley shouts in her ear, gripping onto the back of her jersey tight. “Now go score some more.”

Alex grins, feeling light for the first time in weeks. The rush of scoring goals is something that never gets old, especially when it’s with Kelley O’Hara.

-

She scores five goals. She rolls her eyes at the smug look on Kelley’s face after the match.

Kelley points at her jersey number, “I told you so.”

She can’t say anything else because Alex is ushered to do interviews and be gifted with Player of the Match awards, but her mind stays on Kelley’s smug smile and makes it hard to focus on any of the questions.

She manages to finally escape and make it back to the locker room, and the cheers are deafening when she enters. Various people launch themselves at her, making her laugh.

“Five fucking goals!” Pinoe shouts, ruffling her hair.

“I can’t breathe, guys,” she says, trying to push them off. They give her some space and she sees Kelley watching her with a proud smile.

“Fucking hell, Al. That was amazing!” Kelley says, walking over to her, water bottle in hand. “I could kiss you!”

Alex doesn’t know if it’s the adrenaline of getting through the first game of the World Cup, the high of scoring five goals, or if it’s just the weeks of sexual tension that makes her say what she does next. “What’s stopping you?”

Kelley falters momentarily as their teammates jeer. Alex raises a challenging eyebrow and what she should have known from years of being her friend is that Kelley O’Hara never backs down from a challenge.

Kelley smirks, takes two strides to bring her right in front of Alex. She pauses for just a moment to let Alex back down if she wants to, but she’s never been one to back down either. She can feel the rest of the team watching them, but it all fades when Kelley grabs her face and kisses her.

She can register their teammates shouting but it’s all background noise. All she can focus on is how gently Kelley is cupping her face, which contrasts with how roughly she kisses her. It leaves her wanting more, and her hand bunches up the front of Kelley’s shirt in an effort to pull her closer. Kelley pulls away way too soon, and Alex is left with her eyes closed, panting as the noise filters in.

“Jesus, can you two please save that shit for your hotel room?” Ashlyn says, squirting water at them.

Alex opens her eyes to see Kelley watching her with a smug smirk.

“Alex, Kelley, you’re needed for the press conference,” Jill says, peeking her head in.

To be continued, Alex thinks.

-

By the time they finish their press conference there’s no one there in the locker room. “I’ll let you two shower and catch up with the others,” Jill says, leaving them alone.

Alex is watching Kelley with an unreadable look.

“What?” Kelley asks, pulling off her jersey.

“What was that kiss?” Alex asks, eyes roaming over Kelley’s stomach.

“Don’t challenge me in front of people to kiss you and then be surprised when I do,” Kelley retorts, stretching out her legs.

Alex doesn’t say anything, opting to take off her clothes instead. It feels weird, because they’ve seen each other naked so many times, but this feels different for some reason. They’re both trying too hard to not look at each other.

Alex’s mind is racing as she strips down. There's no denying the tension, but the question is does she ignore it? She glances over at Kelley and makes up her mind when she finds Kelley watching her with a challenging look.

Alex goes to walk into the shower. She pauses. “Are you going to join me?”

This was Alex’s way of being brave, of making the first move, by quoting the dream back to Kelley. She wonders if she’s read this wrong in the silence that follows.

“Of course,” Kelley finally says.

Alex licks her lips, and Kelley’s eyes flicker down to follow it.

“Kelley…” She pleads.

It’s all Kelley needs to hear. She closes the distance to kiss her again, pushing Alex up hard against the shower, accidentally turning it on. They ignore the water that cascades down on them as Alex flips their position and kisses down Kelley neck. She bites down slightly, smiling when Kelley groans in her ear. Kelley pulls her face up to stop her a few moments later.

“Wait. We shouldn’t,” Kelley breathes out, using her thumb to stroke Alex’s cheek. There’s so many reasons why they shouldn’t.

Alex drops to her knees.

Kelley forgets all of them.

-

Much, much later on the bus, Alex chooses a picture of her hugging Kelley after she scored her first goal.

_alexmorgan13: 5 and 13 seem to be my lucky numbers_


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the love guys! have nearly finished the story, so it'll be updated again some time this week.

Once they start, they can’t stop. Alex loses count of how many times Kelley will push her up against the wall of their hotel when no one’s around and kiss her senseless. The days in between the games are comprised of waking up next to each other, coffee dates in the morning, training afterwards, and then exploring France together with their family. Then at night, Kelley will find herself back in Alex’s bed.

It does mean that they get caught one too many times more than she’d like. Kelley has her pressed up against the elevator wall one day when the doors open suddenly. Kelley and Alex spring apart as Christen and Tobin walk in, giving them strange looks.

Kelley clears her throat, leaning against the back wall. 

“What’s with the making out?” Christen asks, staring at her nails. 

“What?” Alex exclaims, a touch too outraged for it to come across as genuine. 

“Come on, we’ve caught you one too many times to not know what your guilty faces look like,” Tobin says.

“I thought you two were only friends.” Christen has her eyes narrowed at Kelley, like this was her fault. 

“We are just friends,” Kelley says. Alex looks at her while Tobin snorts but she ignores both of them. 

“Friends who like to make out?”

“We’re trying to keep up appearances.”

Christen looks around the elevator slowly. “Right. I’m sure you’ve convinced everyone here.”

Tobin snickers at the look on their faces. “You really couldn’t wait the 5 seconds it takes for the elevator to reach your hotel room?”

Kelley knows she’s fucked up when Tobin’s thinking more logically than her. “Whatever,” she huffs.

Tobin and Christen get off at the next floor with matching smirks, leaving Alex and Kelley alone.

“Just friends?” Alex repeats. She sounds hurt. It's not fair, Kelley thinks, any of this.

Kelley sighs. “I was trying to keep her off our case, Alex.”

“Right.” Alex nods. “So what are we then?”

"I'm Kelley and you're Alex," Kelley answers. "Isn't that enough?"

Kelley’s terrified because they haven’t ever talked about _them_ ever. It's a weird situation because Alex and him were still technically together, it's not like she had broke up with him, or said no to his proposal. She doesn't really know what the rules are on cheating if it's in an entirely different universe, but it's still not entirely right. She thinks she likes it better not knowing than knowing for sure, because she’s sure Alex likes Kelley, and sure Alex could love Kelley, but is she in love with her? And if she was, would she ever choose her over him? These were answers she’d be better off not knowing. She'd been hurt too many times by this point.

Alex looks like she wants to say more but Kelley doesn't want to hear it yet. She closes the gap between them and Alex lets her silence her with her lips.

-

_ “Okay what is going on with you?” Alex asks, dropping down into the seat next to Kelley. Alex and Kelley had just finished cleaning up after their New Year’s Eve/ Last Day in their Apartment Party, while Tobin was passed out on a beanbag chair in the corner. _

_ “What do you mean?” Kelley asks, choosing to tap on her empty beer bottle instead of looking at her. _

_ “You’ve been off with me for weeks, and I’m done trying to tiptoe around the subject,” Alex says, trying to put on a brave face but feeling her heart sink as Kelley keeps avoiding her eyes. “So can you just come out with it?” _

_ Kelley’s silent for a few more moments, before she puts her bottle down on the table. “I can’t do this anymore.” _

_ Alex knows exactly what she’s talking about, but she feigns ignorance. “Do what?” _

_ “Alex.” Kelley’s voice cracks on her name, and her head drops in her hands. _

_ “Kelley, what’s going on?” Alex pleads. “We can work through this.” _

_ “No,” Kelley says, and it’s said so resolutely it hurts. “I think it’s best if we… take a break.” _

_ Now it’s Alex’s turn to be silent. She doesn’t feel surprised or shocked, just angry more than anything. She blames that on the alcohol. “What?” She manages to say. “Are you seriously breaking up with me? Why? I thought things were going well between us?” _

_ “They are,” Kelley runs a hand through her hair. “It’s just… You’re going to Portland next year.” _

_ “So?” _

_ “And I’ll be in New Jersey.” _

_ “Long distance?” Alex says, before letting out a bitter laugh. “You’re not telling me you’re breaking up with me because you can’t do long distance?” _

_ Kelley doesn’t say anything. _

_ “Fucking say something!” Alex shouts, her anger overcoming her, and she takes satisfaction in Kelley jumping. _

_ “What do you want me to say?” _

_ “Tell me that I seriously haven’t wasted the past five years of my life with you, on this relationship, only for you to run at the first sign of trouble? Tell me that you’re not a fucking coward, Kelley. I have been with you since I was nineteen years old, you have had five fucking years to let me know that you didn’t take this as seriously as me.” _

_ “Alex, we’re going to be living across the country from each other. It’s going to be hard, I don’t want to hold you back.” _

_ “And you can’t be bothered to even try?” Kelley says nothing. Alex nods. “I understand. I can’t bear to even look at you.” _

_ “Alex…” _

_ “Fuck off, Kelley." Alex doesn't think she's every felt this hurt. Kelley takes one last look at her before going up to her room, the one she hasn’t used since they moved in three months ago. _

_ _ -

“Can you believe how long we’ve known each other?” Alex asks out of the blue over coffee.

“In which universe?” Kelley asks, wondering when that became a normal question for her to ask.

“This one. We would have been together eleven years this year,” Alex muses. “So much has changed but we still stuck it out, huh?”

“That’s a long time,” Kelley says, wondering just how they’d managed to stay together for so long from such a young age. “I must be pretty amazing at this whole relationship thing if I managed to keep you around for eleven years.”

“You are, Kel,” Alex says, looking at her with a soft smile that Kelley can't look at for too long. 

“Tell that to Ann,” Kelley mutters, looking away from Alex’s intense gaze.

Kelley knows Alex is dying to ask her why they broke up, but she also knows Alex won’t, not yet. Instead she changes the subject and asks Kelley which picture she should post out of the ones she made Tobin take of her and Kelley yesterday.

-

_ alexmorgan13: 2011 -> 2015 -> 2019 _

_ kelleyohara: …and what a time we’ve had _

-

_ "I introduced Kelley to Ann. You know she’s had a thing for Kel since college," Ali says to her, and Alex looks at her, "I'm so sorry." _

_ "Don't apologise to me," Alex said, shrugging, "I'm done, clearly this wasn't meant to be."  _

_ "Alex-" Christen starts. _

_ "No, what's the fucking point? She broke up with me, remember?," Alex says, downing her drink, "So I'm gonna stick on a fake smile and let her introduce her new girlfriend to me and I'm going to pretend that I'm not in love with her.” _

_ “She’s not her girlfriend,” Christen argues. _

_ “Girlfriend. Girl she’s fucking. Does it matter?” Alex mutters. _

_ "Alex…” Ali trails off at the look on Alex’s face. _

_ Before Alex could reply, Kelley walks in with a brunette holding her hand, and Alex knew this was going to be harder than she thought.  _

_ Kelley makes eye contact with her and it's like the world slows down around her, and it's just the two of them. Alex thinks she looks beautiful. Kelley's smile falls off her face, and she bites her lip slightly, holding Alex's gaze for a bit too long, before looking away. Alex sees the moment she realises the only free seats are next to Ali or next to Alex, and the conflict is clear on her face but she decides to sit next to Alex. _

_ "Hi guys," Kelley greets the group. "Ann, you know Ali obviously, and you probably remember Christen and Alex from college."  _

_ "Hey, nice seeing you guys again" Ann greets them and they wave at her,and Alex manages to muster up her best fake smile. “We’re only missing Tobin, right?” _

_ “Yeah, she’s off doing her thing in Paris,” Christen answers. Alex picks up on the bitterness, they all do. _

_ “It was nice of you two to come back from Sweden to gift us with your presence though,” Kelley jokes. Christen manages to give her a smile. _

_ The waiter comes over at that moment. "Are you ready to order?"  _

_ "Yes we are," Ali answers. Alex is the last one to order.  _

_ "What about you?" The waiter asks, looking at Alex with a shy smile, "What can I get you?"  _

_ "I don't know, what do you recommend?" Alex asks, looking up at him with a smile.  _

_ "Our lasagna is amazing.” He pauses. "Alex right?"  _

_ "You know me?" Alex asks, raising an eyebrow. _

_ "Big fan," the waiter says, shrugging slightly. _

_ "What's your name?" Alex asks. _

_ "Tom," he answers. Christen clears her throat. Alex looks at her with a raised eyebrow. _

_ "Are you going to order?" She asks. _

_ "Oh yeah, I'll have the lasagna please," Alex says, "And another glass of wine,"  _

_ "Your wish is my command," Tom answers, smiling at Alex before walking away.  _

_ "He's flirting with you," Kelley says, looking at her with an unreadable expression. Christen and Ali exchange looks, while Ann just looks confused at the tension.  _

_ "So? I'm single aren't I?" Alex answers. Kelley doesn’t react, but Alex picks up on her jaw clenching. _

_ "So you like him?" Kelley asks. _

_ "What’s the problem if I did?" Alex counters. Christen looks like she’s going to have an aneurysm. _

_ "So, Ann, how's work?" Ali interrupts, giving Alex and Kelley a warning look. _

_ "She’s so talented," Kelley says. Ann takes her hand and Alex tries not to glare at their intertwined hands. _

_ "She's too kind," Ann says, looking at Kelley with an adoring look that makes Alex's grip on her empty glass tighten. "Work’s rewarding, but it does mean I don’t have as much free time as I'd like to." _

_ There’s an awkward silence where Alex just stares at her glass while the others stare at each other. _

_ "Alex’s sister’s a nurse too," Christen says, kicking Alex to try and get her to engage in conversation. _

_ "Oh really? What kind?" Ann asks, as Alex glares at Christen, rubbing her ankle subtly under the table. _

_ "Um, a labour nurse.” Alex starts taking off her jacket. She feels Kelley's eyes on her and congratulates herself for wearing a push-up bra that really showed off her limited cleavage. _

_ "That's a really rewarding specialisation," Ann says, smiling.  _

_ The conversation continues on, with Alex and Kelley refusing to talk to each other but they also can't stop the staring either, which is caught by Ali and Christen, but somehow Ann remains oblivious.  _

_ "Here are your drinks," Tom returns, and when he catches sight of Alex's dress he freezes, "Wow," he mumbles, loud enough for the table to hear. Kelley gives him an icy look which he ignores because he's too busy staring at Alex.  _

_ "Is that a good wow?" Alex asks,  _

_ "Did I say that out loud?" Tom asks, blushing slightly, "But yeah, good wow,"  _

_ "Thanks, it's a new dress," Alex says, taking a sip of her new drink.  _

_ "Your food’s on the way," Tom says, half dazed.  _

_ "Thanks then, that'll be all," Kelley says, coldly. Alex raises an eyebrow at her.  _

_ "Yes of course," Tom seems to snap out of it and leaves.  _

_ "Do you have a problem with Tom?" Alex asks, almost amused. _

_ "No, just want him to do his job," Kelley says, "But he’s too busy drooling over you."  _

_ "He wasn't drooling, even if he was, he’s kind of cute, don’t you think?” Alex asks, swirling her glass of wine. She wants to see exactly how far she can push Kelley.  _

_ “I don’t see it,” Kelley says, through gritted teeth. Alex hides a smile at how jealous Kelley is. Christen gives Ali a look that screams 'do something'. Ann is too focused on her phone to pick up on the tension. _

_ "So, Ann..." Ali interrupts again, trying to diffuse the tension and involve Ann in the conversation.  _

_ Alex raises a challenging eyebrow at Kelley who looks like she's smirking slightly. Alex understands why when she feels Kelley hand on her bare knee. She shoots Kelley a questioning look but she's turned back to focus on Ann’s reply to Ali's question.  _

_ Kelley's fingers trace up and down Alex's thigh making Alex grip on her glass tighten. Kelley's fingers push up her dress and skim the edge of her underwear lightly with her nails making Alex gasp slightly. _

_ "You alright Alex?" Ann asks, noticing her expression. _

_ "Fine, thank you Ann," Alex replies as steadily as she can while Kelley rubs her over her underwear. Ali narrows her eyes at her suspiciously but seems not to notice anything as she turns back to Ann.  _

_ Tom comes back later with their food and that's when Kelley takes the opportunity to push her underwear to the side and touch her for the first time in months. Alex bites her lip to stop her moan. Kelley turns slightly to watch her expression. She uses her hand to grasp Kelley's wrist lightly but doesn't stop her.  _

_ "Hope you enjoy the lasagna, Alex," Tom says to her, putting down the plate in front of her.  _

_ "Th..." Alex's voice fails her for a moment as Kelley's finger pushes into her slightly, "Thanks." Alex manages to say, looking down at her plate to avoid anyone seeing her face. Tom watches her for a moment to see if she'll say anything else, but when she doesn't, walks away dejectedly.  _

_ "Poor guy looked like a kicked puppy, Al," Kelley says, looking at her innocently as if she wasn't inside Alex with her ‘girlfriend’ oppposite her. Alex looks at her incredulously before closing her eyes slightly as Kelley rubs her faster.  _

_ "I..." Alex's voice is breathy. Kelley bites her lip and that lets Alex know it's turning her on. "Not my type, it was just some innocent flirting," Alex manages to get out, conflicted between stopping her and enjoying the moment.  _

_ "Let's eat," Kelley says, pulling out of Alex suddenly, and Alex groans quietly at the loss of contact.  _

_ "Tease," Alex mutters under breath for Kelley to hear only. The others start eating but Kelley looks at her with a smirk, before bringing her finger up to her mouth and sucking on it. Alex's mouth falls open and she knows needs to get out of there before she does something stupid. "Toilet."  _

_ "What?" Ali asks, looking up at them as Kelley starts eating,  _

_ "Toilet, I need..." she pauses as she glances at Kelley, who’s smirking at her plate “the bathroom.” She stands. "Excuse me," Kelley has to get up for Alex to leave so she stands up to let her out. _

_ "Do you want me to come with you?" Kelley asks, innocent smile on her face and Alex wants to kiss it off her. She tries to ignore that Kelley's with her sort-of girlfriend.  _

_ "Yes please," Alex says, almost begging. They leave to the bathroom together as the others watch them. Ali and Christen are left confused at their change of behaviour while Ann just smiles.  _

_ "They seem close," she comments, "Kelley talks about her all the time."  _

_ "She does?" Christen asks, looking at Ann. _

_ "Yeah, I think it was really important to her that Alex likes me, so I'm nervous," Ann says, "So am I doing well?"  _

_ Christen doesn’t know how to break it to Ann that Alex would never like her, so she just smiles, "You're doing fine."  _

_ \-  _

_ Kelley watches Alex reapplying her lipstick in the toilet mirror in silence, feeling the guilt settle deep in her chest now that it’s over. She can see Alex’s mask falling back into place with every stroke, and feels the sick sense of satisfaction knowing she could break her facade with just her fingers. _

_ Alex doesn’t look at her, but as she’s leaving, she pauses next to Kelley and hesitates before pressing a kiss against her cheek. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers, and that’s all she says before leaving Kelley alone.  _

_ Kelley wonders why that felt more intimate than when she was inside Alex a minute ago. _

_ She returns a few minutes later, making sure to wipe off any lipstick carefully, and tries to plaster on a smile when Ann takes her hand. Ali and Christen have matching sad looks, like they know what had happened in the toilet.  _

_ She has the feeling that things were not going to work out with Ann, once again, regardless of how nice and kind she was, and the reason was sat right next to her. _

_ - _

Spain is a rough game and Alex takes a beating like never before. Kelley makes sure to kiss every bruise later in the shower and massage out the knots in her back gently before fucking her hard enough against the tiles to leave new bruises. Alex decides she likes these ones better.

-

_ “Happy birthday,” Kelley says when Alex opens the door. They haven’t seen each other since that awkward dinner a month ago. _

_ “What do you want, Kelley?” Alex asks, crossing her arms defensively. _

_ “You, Alex.” _

_ “I don’t know if you remember, but you broke up with me,” Alex snaps, and Kelley flinches at her tone. “Because you were a fucking coward.” _

_ “Can I just have one chance to explain myself? Then I won’t bother you again,” Kelley’s practically begging at this point. _

_ “You think I’ll forgive you just because you remembered my favourite flowers?” Alex asks, with a bitter laugh, but she takes the lilies anyway. _

_ “No, it just felt wrong showing up empty handed.” _

_ “How did you get my address?” Alex asks, before sighing. “Ali.” _

_ “Yeah, and you know she wouldn’t have given it to me if she didn’t think I had some sort of explanation.” _

_ Alex closes her eyes and breathes out slowly. She moves out of the entrance and Kelley takes this as her sign to walk inside. _

_ Alex sits on the couch and Kelley takes a seat on the opposite end, the space in between them feeling all too big. Alex watches her expectantly, waiting for her to say something and Kelley knows this is it. Her one chance. _

_ “We said when we started dating that we wouldn’t let our relationship get in the way of our careers, and honestly, seeing how big you were after the Olympics and how all of US Soccer’s hope were put on you on being the next face of women’s soccer, it was scary, Al. I didn’t want to hold you back, or be the reason all of that went away. You know how people would react if they found out about us, you’d lose your sponsors and your marketability, and I wanted you to have all those things, but I didn’t see how I could fit into all that. I’m sorry. I am, but I didn’t want to be the reason you lost all that.” _

_ “And you let me believe it was because you were scared to do long distance?” Alex asks, after a long moment of silence. _

_ Kelley nods. _

_ “Jesus, Kelley, we said soccer and our careers were our priority when we were twenty and just started dating. We had been together for five years, you really didn’t think that our priorities could change?” Alex says, rubbing her eyes with her palms. “I understand you probably thought you were doing the right thing, but you couldn’t have fucking talked to me about it? You broke my heart.” _

_ “I know, Al. I am sorry. I am so sorry.” _

_ “How am I supposed to ever trust you again, Kelley?” Alex sounds helpless, like she’s begging Kelley to give her a reason, any reason. “How am I supposed to believe that you’re not going to run again the next time we go through a rough patch?” _

_ Kelley reaches for Alex’s hand and takes it as a good sign that Alex lets her. “I know. You have no reason to trust me, and I ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me, because I thought I was trying to do the right thing.” _

_ Kelley digs into her pocket and places a black velvet box on the table. Alex eyes widen as she realises what it is. _

_ “Kelley, what the fuck?” She murmurs. _

_ “No, I’m not proposing, not like this, not now,” Kelley clarifies quickly, half-smiling when the panic on Alex’s face eases. “This,” she pauses to tap the box, “Is a promise. You said you were worried you’d wasted so much time on this relationship, and that you didn’t think it meant as much to me as it did to you. This box is a promise that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you want me, and that decision is completely yours, Al. It’s a promise that I’m all in, that I won’t hurt you like that ever again, and that I’m never going to leave. I love you, and I will love you forever.” _

_ Alex bites her lip, looking between the box and Kelley, before launching forward and pulling Kelley into a tight hug. _

_ “I’ve missed you so much,” she whispers into Kelley’s neck. _

_ “I am going to spend the rest of my life making this up to you, I swear,” Kelley says, pulling back to look at Alex. _

_ “I’m holding you to that.” Alex leans forward to finally kiss her. _

-

The whistle blows and Alex feels the exhaustion hit her as it does. She looks over to Kelley who’s running straight at her. Alex manages to muster up a tired smile as Kelley launches herself at her. Alex somehow manages to catch her, as Kelley wraps her legs tight around her waist. For a moment, she's in that bubble again, the one where it feels like it's just her and Kelley. “How do you even have the energy left to jump that high?”

“I don’t, it was a huge mistake and I regret everything,” Kelley says, making Alex laugh as she sets her down. “I’m just impressed you managed to catch me.”

"Just because I don't go around body slamming people doesn't mean I'm not strong."

"That was an accident!" Kelley protests.

"I have no idea how you didn't get another yellow," Alex says, shaking her head.

"Must be my natural charm," Kelley says, smirking.

Alex snorts. "So humble."

"Worked on you, didn't it?" Kelley asks, lifting the hem of her jersey to wipe her face. It's an obvious move but Alex falls for it, biting down on her lip as she stares at her stomach.

"You wish," Alex mutters, tearing her eyes away. Kelley's smirking at her again, and it makes her heart race a little, not that she'd ever tell Kelley.

"Whatever you say, Al."

-

_ Alex watches Kelley prepare lunch while sitting on the counter, and works on trying to get Kelley to kiss her as many times as she can, thinking about how she wants this every single day. Kelley smiles fondly as Alex locks her into place in by wrapping her legs around her waist. She kisses Alex’s forehead. “This is nice.” _

_ “It is, I can’t wait to live with you,” Alex says, wrapping her hands around Kelley’s neck and playing with her hair. _

_ “Harsh, Alex, I think I’m a pretty good roommate,” Tobin says, walking into the kitchen. Alex lets Kelley go so she can continue cooking. _

_ “I’ve tripped over your longboard more times than I can count,” Alex points out. Tobin shrugs with a grin, sitting at the island. _

_ “And I’ve had to walk in on you and Kelley more times than I can count, we both make sacrifices,” Tobin says. Kelley laughs while Alex rolls her eyes. “I swear you’re in Portland more than New Jersey these days.” _

_ “I know, I think she’s a little obsessed,” Alex teases. _

_ “Just a little,” Kelley agrees. _

_ “I’m not complaining. I’ve missed your cooking Kel, it’s so great having someone who can cook around here,” Tobin says, with a pointed look at Alex, who flips her off. “It’s a wonder you haven’t burnt down the kitchen yet, Al.” _

_ “I’m not that bad,” Alex protests. _

_ “I don’t know how you’re going to cope in France,” Tobin says, with a laugh, and Alex freezes. Her eyes are wide, and Tobin stops laughing when she notices, before her eyes widen too. _

_ “France?” Kelley dries her hands and turns to look between Tobin and Alex. “When are you going to France?” _

_ “I…” Alex is going to kill Tobin. She had planned to do this later after a glass of wine for courage. “Kel…” _

_ “I’m… going… to go,” Tobin says, mouthing an apology to Alex after and scurrying away.  _

_ “Alex, what’s going on?” Kelley asks, frowning. Alex hops off the counter and stands in front of Kelley, heart racing. _

_ “I was going to tell you later, but…” Alex takes a deep breath, it should be better to just come out with it, but the way Kelley’s looking at her is making it hard to speak. “Lyon want me to join them next year.” Kelley blinks, and her expression is unreadable which Alex isn’t used to at all. “Kelley, please say something.” _

_ “What do you want me to say, Alex?” Kelley snaps, “When were you going to tell me?” _

_ “I didn’t know how to, especially with LA being an option now, we’ve been waiting for this for the past five years,” Alex says, clasping her hands. “I haven’t signed anything or said anything, it’s hard enough being across the country from you, but Lyon would be good for me.” _

_ “When did you find out?” Kelley asks, crossing her arms and leaning against the counter. _

_ There’s a pause. _

_ “Two weeks ago,” Alex says, looking ashamed. _

_ “Two fucking weeks? And you didn’t say a word? But Tobin knows?” Kelley’s voice is louder now, and Alex is sure Tobin can probably hear. _

_ “Talking about it would have made it real,” Alex says, shrugging. “I wanted to enjoy our time together without France looming over our heads.” _

_ “You can’t keep things like this away from me, Alex, especially if we’re getting married,” Kelley says, throwing up her hands. _

_ “Can you blame me? Last time I told you about moving you broke up with me!” Alex snaps, and regrets it immediately at the look on Kelley’s face.  _

_ “Seriously Alex? I have apologised to you, you said you forgave me, and three years later we’re fucking engaged, you can’t keep bringing that up!” Kelley shouts, and Alex sighs, anger leaving her body at Kelley’s tone. Kelley never shouts. _

_ “I know. I know, I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean that,” Alex says, voice gentle. “I know I should have told you, but I was scared. I won’t go if you don’t want me to, no questions asked, because you are my priority, this relationship is my priority.” _

_ “You know that I wouldn’t stop you,” Kelley sighs, running a hand through her hair. “I need some space, I’m going on a run.” _

_ Alex’s heart sinks. _

_ “Kel, please,” Alex pleads, but Kelley ignores her and she hears the front door shutting a few minutes later. _

_ Alex’s eyes well up with tears as she leaves the kitchen and collapses on the couch. She hears another door open and footsteps slowly approach her. _

_ “Al? I’m so sorry,” Tobins says, dropping down next to her. “I really thought-” _

_ “It’s fine, Tobs, I should have told her sooner,” Alex says, and curls up into Tobin’s side. _

_ - _

_ Kelley returns an hour later with a paper bag. Alex stands up immediately as she walks in, and starts apologising. “Kel, I am so sorry, I fucked up okay, and I-” _

_ She’s cut off by Kelley calmly walking over and kissing her. Alex kisses her back, her hands running down Kelley’s arms to rest on her biceps. Kelley pulls back, and Alex just looks at her dazed. _

_ “What was that for?” she asks, out of breath. “I thought you were mad at me.” _

_ “Not mad, just disappointed,” Kelley says. Alex pouts. _

_ “You know that’s always worse.” _

_ “I had some time to think,” Kelley hands Alex the paper bag, “This is for you.” _

_ Alex takes the bag and pulls out a croissant. She looks up at Kelley speechless, and falls in love with her all over again. _

_ “I took so long because it was really hard to find a place that sells these,” Kelley says, with a nervous laugh. “You should go, Al. It’s going to be tough being apart but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to push yourself more than you can here, and you’ll regret it if you don’t. Plus, we have the rest of our lives to be together, one season is nothing,” Kelley says, with that fucking half-smile, and Alex wonders how she ever got this lucky. _

_ “How are you so perfect?” Alex asks, “I am so in love with you.” _

_ Kelley’s smile widens, and she takes hold of Alex’s left hand and presses a kiss to her ring, before kissing her again. It isn’t long before the sounds of moans echoing through the apartment lets Tobin know that everything worked out. _

_ - _

_ alexmorgan13: 2016 will present itself with challenges I’m sure, but none more than being faced with living across the ocean from the most important person in my life. Sometimes the sacrifices we make for football know no boundaries. _

-

They decide to celebrate Alex’s birthday the day before her actual birthday. They go for a bike ride, just them two, Tobin and Christen telling them that their present is to babysit. Alex spends most of the time desperately trying to catch up with Kelley. She's relentless.

Kelley cycles past a florist and tells Alex to wait outside before walking out with the biggest bouquet of lilies she has ever seen. They’re so beautiful and it’s so thoughtful that Alex doesn’t ask Kelley how the hell they were supposed to transport them home on their bikes. She shouldn’t have worried anyway, Kelley decides to carry them in her backpack, drawing a lot of judgemental looks from the people they cycle past, but Kelley doesn’t care. She still manages to be faster than Alex while keeping them intact.

They get dinner at this fancy French restaurant where they can’t pronounce any of the words and where even she has to take a double take at the prices. Kelley holds her hand, pressing kisses against it occasionally, and waves off her attempt at trying to split the bill. It all just feels so easy. Later when they decide to walk back home, Kelley hands Alex her jacket before she even finishes shivering.

Alex wraps the jacket tightly around herself and Kelley wraps an arm around her waist to try and warm her up. “You’re unbelievable.”

“I know,” Kelley says, grinning, and leaning in to kiss her. “Race you back to the hotel.”

“Kelley, no, I’m in heels!” She shouts to no use as Kelley sprints away. She sighs before taking her heels off and sprinting down after her, both of their laughs echoing around the streets of Lyon. 

-

_ They’re knocked out of the Olympics and it’s something that doesn’t really feel real, not when they’re watching the penalties, not when they’re in the locker room afterwards hearing Jill’s attempt at cheering them up, not on the bus, and not when they’re back at their hotel. _

_ She cries into Kelley’s chest as she holds her, pressing kisses against her head and saying nothing. There’s nothing she could say, and Kelley knows it. _

_ Despite everything, Alex or Kelley were not people that would give into failure that easily. They decide to enjoy the rest of the month in Rio as a sort of extended honeymoon instead and make the most of being there.  _

_ “I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you this week,” Kelley says, while they’re out hiking. “I guess I’ve missed you.” _

_ “What do you mean?” Alex asks, letting Kelley pull her down onto the bench overlooking the view of the mountains. _

_ “I know we’ve been together for the Olympics and stuff, but I don’t know, with you in France and the hecticness of the tournament, it just feels like ages since we’ve done something non-soccer related, alone. Although, the circumstances aren’t the best, I guess I was reminded of why you’re my favourite person to hang out with.” _

_ Alex smiles and presses a kiss against Kelley’s cheek. “You’re sweet.” _

_ “I’m kind of excited to go home to our home, and just get to live together, just me and you,” Kelley says, looking out at the view and intertwining their fingers. _

_ “About that…” Alex starts, and Kelley faces her with a frown. _

_ “What?” _

_ “I’ve been thinking…” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “Just with the how the Olympics and stuff, it’s made me realise how fragile our careers are you know?” _

_ “Real cheery, Alex,” Kelley deadpans. _

_ “No, but that’s what makes it so exciting. Nothing’s ever a given, but anyway, my point is that we’ve been so career focused for the past eight years, but I think maybe we should start thinking about more permanent things, you know, about us and our lives.” _

_ “What do you mean?” Kelley asks, confused as to where Alex was going with this. “More permanent than marriage?” _

_ “I think we should have kids,” Alex decides to just come out with it. _

_ “We will, babe,” Kelley says, giving her a confused smile. _

_ “No,” Alex shakes her head. “I mean, like, soon. Within the next year.” _

_ “What?” Kelley did not see that coming. “Jesus, Alex, you can’t try and plug the disappointment of getting knocked out of the Olympics with a baby.” _

_ “It’s not like that! I’ve been thinking about it and I think that now’s the best time to do it, or at least start considering it. We haven’t got a major tournament coming for the next two years, and we’ll be in the same place for once club-wise, and with our new house, it all just makes sense.” _

_ Kelley wonders how Alex can be so blasé about something as major as having children, but what she’s saying does somehow make a lot of sense. “Alex, we haven’t lived together, just us, for the whole course of our relationship, I was looking forward to spending time with you, alone.” _

_ Alex brushes her knuckles over Kelley’s cheek softly. “Kelley, you’ve had me all to yourself for the past eight years, and you’ll continue to have me even after we have a kid. That’s not going to change, we’ll just get to have the family we’ve always wanted too.” _

_ “This is a big decision Alex, you can’t just make it on a whim. It’s a permanent, life-changing decision.” _

_ “I know, that’s why there’s no pressure, I just want to at least talk about it, but we both have to be all in before actually trying.” _

_ Kelley sighs. “Can I have some time to think about this?” _

_ “Of course, baby. Take as long as you need.” _

_ - _

_ It’s a month later, and although Alex hasn’t been exactly subtle with the baby hints, she hasn’t brought it up since, giving Kelley the choice to come to her when she’s ready. They’re at Sydney’s house, and Kelley is stood, leaning against the doorframe, watching Alex laugh while holding Cassius in her arms, and it all clicks then and there. This is what she wants, what she’s wanted all her life, and she doesn’t know why she’s resisting.  _

_ Alex catches her staring and raises an eyebrow, but Kelley makes no effort to look away. She half-smiles, and Alex bites her lip, before gently giving Cassius to Ashlyn and excusing herself. She walks over to Kelley, taking her hand and leading her outside to the garden. _

_ Kelley forgets what she’s going to say when Alex turns around and kisses her, throwing her arms around her neck. Kelley’s hands find their place on Alex’s waist, and she smiles when Alex finally pulls away. “What was that for?” _

_ “You’re cute when you stare.” _

_ Kelley brushes her lips against the side of Alex’s head. “I’ve been thinking.” _

_ “That’s new for you,” Alex retorts. Kelley rolls her eyes and lets go of Alex, crossing her arms. _

_ “Alright, I was going to tell you that I’m ready to start trying but clearly one of us isn’t mature enough to be a parent,” she says, pretending to be offended. _

_ Alex’s jaw drops open and she slaps Kelley’s arm, causing her to yelp and rub it. “Are you for real?” _

_ “Yes, but please don’t hit me again.” _

_ “You want to do this with me?” Alex asks, taking hold of Kelley’s hand and pulling her closer. _

_ “Duh, I told you that I want it all with you, I wasn’t lying,” Kelley says, brushing some hair out of Alex’s face. “Let’s do this.” _

_ “God, Kel, I love you so much,” Alex says. _

_ “Plus you’d be such a MILF,” Kelley says, yelping when Alex slaps her arm again. _

_ “You always find a way to ruin nice moments.” Alex turns to walk back in the house. _

_ “You knew what you were getting into when you married me.” She stops Alex from walking any further by wrapping her arms around her from behind, and kissing her shoulder. “Now you’re stuck with me.” _

_ “Lucky me,” Alex deadpans, leaning back into Kelley’s embrace nonetheless. _

-

It’s her birthday, and Alex wakes up to Kelley’s head in between her thighs.

“Happy birthday, pretty girl,” Kelley murmurs against her thigh when she realises she’s awake.

Alex’s response is to tangle her fingers in Kelley’s hair and push her head back down, making Kelley smile.

-

Kelley gets her second assist with another cross whipped in from the side of the box, and this time it’s Christen on the other end of it. It’s a goal that means so much to Christen, and to Tobin, and it’s written so clearly on both their faces.

“Stanford baby!” Kelley shouts, running to her and hugging her tight, reminding her all too much of their college days. It's funny how sometimes things don't change that much at all. “And a header by Press? Never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“I'm as surprised as you,” Christen replies, laughing as Kelley pats her head.

-

It’s like slow motion, watching Alex rise so gracefully, so easily, above her defender and head the ball in.

Kelley’s exhausted but she runs to her anyway, filled with a new energy. She grabs her by the face. “Happy birthday, superstar,” she says, pulling her in for a hug.

“Thanks Kel, I think it’s the great start to the day that gave me that extra push,” Alex says, smirking.

Kelley rolls her eyes with a smirk. “Keep that off the field, Morgan, we're professionals for God's sake,” she says, before patting her ass and running back to their half.

Alex couldn’t hide her grin even if she wanted to.

-

Kelley sees her go down, and she’s there in a flash. She rests a hand on Alex’s back so she knows that she’s there. “Al? You okay?” She hates how small she looks curled up like that. “Come on, Al, roll over for me.”

“Fucking hell,” Alex says, letting Kelley roll her onto her back. Kelley can register Lindsey stood behind her but she’s focused completely on Alex.

“How bad is it?” Kelley says, checking Alex over.

“I’ll live, but shit, that hurt.” Alex’s face is scrunched up in pain.

She looks up as she sees Ellen White come over, looking impatient and trying to help Alex up. Kelley’s about to snap if she comes a step closer, and she thinks Ellen can see it because she stops where she is.

“Dude seriously, fuck off,” Kelley says, slapping her hand away. Kelley looks behind her to see where the medics are. Alex groans again as she brushes some grass off her face gently. Her voice softens. “I’m right here, don’t worry."

“Why is everyone on this tournament so intent on taking me out?” Alex asks, making Kelley laugh despite her concern.

“Because you’re that good,” Kelley says. 

“I don’t think it’s worth it.”

“Tell that to the scoreline,” Kelley says. “I thought they’d take it easy on you considering it’s your birthday.”

“Happy birthday to me,” Alex huffs, holding up her hand. Kelley takes it, intertwining their fingers. Alex squeezes her hand. “I’ve got about a thousand bruises to remember this one by.”

-

“I’ll look like a dick if I don’t wish you a happy birthday,” Kelley says, twiddling her thumbs, thinking of a caption.

“I think you’re overthinking things,” Alex says, taking off her earrings and kicking off her heels.

“Clearly this Kelley O’Hara obsessively loves her wife, she wouldn’t miss a birthday.”

“Fine, but can you hurry up,” Alex says, “I wanted to celebrate my birthday in other ways.”

“You can’t rush perfection, Alex.”

“Kelley, seriously, I will start without you.”

-

In the end she settles on a picture of them at Alex’s birthday dinner after the match, Jed on Alex’s lap, and Lucy on Kelley’s. Alex is smiling at something Kelley’s saying, and Kelley thinks she looks gorgeous.

_ kelleyohara: Happy birthday to my beautiful wife! I never realised I could be this happy. I love you forever. _

-

_ “So what happened?” _

_ “Well I had a head to head collision during a match last week, and I passed all the concussion checks, but my wife was worried, because recently I’ve been getting bad headaches, and I feel dizzy and sometimes I feel really nauseous.” _

_ “She even threw up the other day,” Kelley says, squeezing Alex’s hand worriedly. _

_ “I’m sure it’s fine, Kel,” Alex reassures her. _

_ “We’ll take some blood, and do some other tests and make sure everything’s okay.” _

_ The doctor takes Alex’s blood as Kelley holds her hand, and she leaves to go run the tests, leaving the two of them alone. _

_ “How are you feeling?” Kelley asks, using her free hand to run her fingers through Alex’s hair gently. “Do you need anything?” _

_ “I’m fine, Kel, but can you get me some water?” Alex asks, playing with Kelley’s ring. _

_ “Of course, babe, I’ll be right back,” Kelley says, getting up and kissing her forehead. Alex smiles as she watches her leave. _

_ The door opens again later, but it’s the doctor holding some pieces of paper. _

_ “My wife’s gone to get me some water,” Alex lets her know. It never gets old calling Kelley her wife. _

_ “Do you want me to give you the results now or do you want to wait for her?” _

_ “You can tell me now, might as well get it over with,” Alex says. _

_ “Well I have some good news,” the doctor says, giving Alex a kind smile. “You don’t have a concussion, Alex, you’re pregnant,” the doctor tells her, and everything else kind of fades out of focus as soon as she hears the last word. _

_ “Pregnant?” Alex repeats, swallowing hard. _

_ “About three or four weeks.” _

_ “Are you sure? I… I did a pregnancy test a few weeks ago, and it came back as negative,” Alex splutters, as she wonders what the hell was taking Kelley so long. _

_ “False negatives do happen, but the blood test is a lot more accurate.” _

_ “I’m pregnant?” Alex repeats, it still not quite clicking in her head, and to the doctor’s credit, she just nods and pats her shoulder. _

_ “Congratulations, Alex.” _

_ The door opens and Kelley walks in, holding a bottle of water in her hand and Alex’s favourite candy bar. Alex looks at it, and at Kelley, and finally smiles. “Sorry babe, I got lost, all the hallways look the same.” Kelley takes in the smile on Alex’s face. “Good news?”  _

_ The doctor looks at Alex, who nods, “Great news. I’m all clear so we can head home.” _

_ “That’s great news,” Kelley says grinning, “What about the symptoms?” _

_ “It’s probably just the flu or something, right doc?” _

_ The doctor nods, hiding a smile. “Let me know if it persists.” _

_ “Thank you,” Kelley says, holding out a hand for Alex to take. _

_ “No worries, all the best.” _

_ - _

_ Alex asks if Kelley can drive her to the grocery store so she can run inside and buy five different pregnancy tests - she’s always been one to be thorough. Kelley asks her what she had needed when she gets back and Alex tells her it's a surprise. _

_ “A Christmas present?” Kelley asks, clapping her hands excitedly like a kid, before her face falls. “A Christmas present from the grocery store?” _

_ “You’re going to love it, trust me,” Alex says, laughing. She looks at her pout with the realisation that her wife, a massive child herself, is going to become a parent, and smiles because there’s no one she’d rather do this with. _

_ - _

_ “Merry Christmas, baby,” Alex says, handing Kelley a little box. “Before you open it, I just want to say, I love you.” _

_ “I love you too,” Kelley says, leaning forward to kiss her. She shakes the box and hears a rattle. “What is it?” _

_ “Open it,” Alex says. Alex looks at the way Kelley’s tongue sticks out as she tries to unwrap it gently. She’s so in love with her. _

_ Kelley takes off the wrapping paper and lifts the lid of the box gently and Alex smiles at the way her jaw drops when she sees what’s inside. “No way,” Kelley breathes out, looking up at Alex in awe. “Alex….” She holds up the positive pregnancy test. _

_ “We’re going to be parents,” Alex says, eyes tearing up when she sees Kelley starting to cry. _

_ Kelley leans forward to kiss Alex before pulling her in for a tight hug. “I love you.” She pulls back to place a hand on Alex’s stomach. “And I love you,” she whispers. _

_ “You’re going to be a big brother Wolfie,” Alex says, when Wolf comes and lays down next to them. She scratches his head as he pants happily. _

_ “When do we tell people?” Kelley asks, hand not leaving Alex’s stomach. _

_ “I don’t know, soon? But I want to keep this our little secret for a little while longer.” _

_ Kelley nods. “That’s nice and all, but I hope you know Press will somehow figure it out before we tell them.” _

_ “I know.” _

-

“Press looks pissed off,” Kelley whispers to Alex, as they spot Christen approaching them during breakfast.

“Hey what’s up Chris?” Alex asks, giving her her best smile.

“Hey guys, just a heads up, the hotel walls are very thin. I know it’s all about keeping up appearances so don’t worry, I think you’ve definitely convinced the entire hotel floor after last night’s ‘performance’,” Christen says, sweetly. “Just friends,” she mutters under her breath as she walks away.

Alex’s face turns a deep red with embarrassment whereas Kelley bursts into laughter.

“Shit, imagine her reaction if she had spotted the bite marks,” Kelley says, in between her laughter.

“I hate you.”

“It’s not my fault you’re loud.”

“I’m going to divorce you if you don’t shut up.”

Kelley shuts up.

-

_ “Can you believe how long it’s been since we’ve been in this stadium?” Alex asks, looking around Stanford Stadium, completely empty. Kelley watches her with a soft smile. Alex turns to look at her, before holding out her hand for Kelley to take. _

_ “We met in this very stadium, do you remember?” Kelley asks, intertwining their fingers. _

_ “How could I forget the moment you slide tackled your way into my life?” Alex asks, rolling her eyes fondly. _

_ “It was a fair tackle, the ref agreed with me, and you didn’t even let me help you up,” Kelley says. _

_ “Because it wasn’t a fair tackle!” Alex retorts. _

_ “Okay we are not going to revisit this argument again,” Kelley says, and it was her turn to roll her eyes. “My point is, I remember thinking you were one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever met, even if you were giving me a death glare. Actually, I think it made you even hotter in a way.” _

_ Alex laughs, “You have such a way with words, babe.” _

_ Kelley leads Alex to the middle of the field, where in the half-way line circle she had set up a picnic on a blanket, with a large bottle of champagne and a bouquet of six lilies. _

_ Alex stops walking when she sees it and turns to face Kelley with watery eyes. “How are you still so romantic?” _

_ Kelley shrugs. “It’s easy with you Al, always has been. Happy anniversary.” _

_ “I don’t think I could love you more,” Alex says, cupping Kelley’s face and pulling her in to kiss her. _

_ “I convinced Ali to make you her brownies.” _

_ “I was wrong,” Alex says, before kissing her again. _

_ - _

_ “I’ve got one last surprise for you,” Kelley says, pulling into the parking lot of the beach. _

_ “This is our beach,” Alex says, looking out at the beach where they’d started their relationship, where Kelley had taught her how to surf, where Kelley had asked her to be her girlfriend and Alex had told her she loved her for the first time. _

_ “Yeah, I thought it would be nice to come back as long as we’re in the area,” Kelley says. _

_ “Five minutes to midnight,” Alex says, looking at the time on her phone. _

_ “Come on,” Kelley says, getting out of the car to put on her jacket. _

_ Alex takes her hand as they walk along the beach, rests her other hand on Kelley’s bicep, and leans her head on Kelley’s shoulder. _

_ “Did you do that?” Alex asks, awe on her face, pointing at the candles arranged in the shape of a large heart. _

_ Kelley nods, and lets go of Alex’s hand so Alex can go check it out. Kelley takes a deep breath and checks her watch before taking the box out of her coat pocket. _

_ She knows the photographers and her friends should be around somewhere, but for now her role is to focus on getting the words she’s been wanting to say for years out. _

_ Alex looks over at her with a smile that reminds her why she’s doing this, because getting to marry Alex Morgan was more than worth all the nerves and the months of planning and sneaking around. All Alex had to do was say yes, and all Kelley had to do was get through it. _

_ She tries not to focus on what could go wrong, but rather on Alex’s smile, as she joins her in the middle of the heart. She drops down on one knee just a few steps in front of Alex, and smiles when Alex covers her mouth with her hands. _

_ “Kel…” she breathes out. _

_ Kelley opens up the box, letting Alex see the ring for the first time. It was a ring Kelley had fallen in love with pretty much as soon as she’d seen it when she had gone ring shopping with Tobin and Ali two years ago, and the look on Alex’s face lets her know that she’s nailed it. _

_ Kelley doesn’t really know what she says, opting to speak from the heart about how she’s never happier than when she’s with Alex, how she’s the most beautiful and hard-working person she’s ever met, how she inspires her to be a better player and a better person every single day, how she can’t believe she gets to live out her dream with her best friend, and how she wants to spend the rest of her life with her. It seems to work because Alex is crying by the time she gets to the end. “Alexandra Patricia Morgan, will you marry me?” _

_ They look up as the fireworks burst above their heads. “Yes, of course it’s a yes,” she says, pulling Kelley up by her coat lapels to kiss her hard. Kelley pulls back to put the ring on Alex’s finger and sighs in relief when it fits, before kissing Alex again, all the emotions coming to the surface now that Alex had finally said yes. _

_ “She said yes!” She shouts, picking Alex up and spinning her around, as Alex laughs wildly and the fireworks keep exploding above them. _

_ Her heart has never felt more full. _

_ - _


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you didn't know by now, i love Alex Morgan

_ “Kelley!” Alex calls. Kelley’s talking to Tobin but turns at the sound of her name. Tobin isn’t oblivious, for once, and seems to sense the importance of the moment, giving the two of them space. _

_ Alex can feel the weight of the world’s eyes on her. _

_ “Alex?” Seeing her half-smile at the sight of Alex and hearing the way she says her name is all the courage she needs. She’s reminded why she’s going to do this. For Kelley. For herself. For them. _

_ Every step seems to be in slow-motion, and just before she reaches Kelley she tells her, “I’m ready.” She kisses the confusion off Kelley’s face, wrapping the flag around them as some kind of shield. It’s the kind of kiss that feels big. The confetti, the camera flashes, the fact that they’ve just won a World Cup, their family in the stands, their teammates cheering around them, the fact that she knows she’s going to be in love with Kelley O’Hara for the rest of her life. _

_ She pulls back and Kelley’s laughing, and she’s laughing too. They’re so painfully happy, she just wants to freeze this moment in time, freeze the moment before all of the consequences, the moment where despite being in a stadium full of fifty three thousand people, it’s just her and Kelley. _

_ “I love you,” Kelley shouts over all the noise, and Alex can feel it in the way she grips her hips tighter. “How do you feel?” _

_ “On top of the freaking world. I love you, I’m going to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care who knows.” _

_ She kisses Kelley again and it tastes like freedom. _

-

They’re about to walk into the locker room before the big game, but Alex pulls Kelley to the side before they can.

Kelley looks at her with an expectant look. “What’s up?”

“Why did you and Ann really break up?” Alex blurts out. It had been on her mind for weeks and she needed to know now.

Kelley’s face hardens and she doesn’t say anything, which makes Alex want to take it back immediately. She doesn’t look surprised though, she looks like she’d been expecting this. After what feels like an eternity, Kelley says, “You know why.”

Alex has a feeling she does know, but she wants to hear it. She needs to. “Tell me.”

Kelley lets out a bitter laugh, before pulling Alex’s face in to kiss her. “That’s why,” she says, against Alex’s lips.

“Kelley,” Alex breathes out, resting her forehead against Kelley’s.

“She broke up with me, because the news that he was proposing to you fucking broke me, because I'm in love with you, Alex. I have been since I was nineteen years old and it has been killing me pretending I’m not,” Kelley says, gripping onto Alex’s face like she’s scared she’s going to disappear. Kelley takes her hand and places it over her chest, so Alex can feel her racing heartbeat. “This is why.”

“Kel-” Alex starts, feeling overwhelmed.

“No,” Kelley pulls back and shakes her head. “Please don’t say anything. We can talk about all of this after we go out there and win a World Cup. But for now, just, please, don’t say anything.”

-

It wasn’t time to play pretty, it was time to play to win.

-

Not too surprisingly, she gets kicked for perhaps the hundredth time this tournament, but this time it’s in the arm and in the penalty area. 

Kelley’s there waiting with a water bottle when she goes to the sideline during the wait for the call. “Are you okay?” She asks, fingers brushing gently over the spot on her bicep where a bruise was starting to form. They’re trying to act like Kelley’s confession hadn’t happened, at least for now.

“I’ll live,” Alex says, taking the water bottle from her and taking a sip. Alex reaches over to lightly drag her nails through Kelley’s hair. “How’s your head?” 

“I’ll live,” Kelley repeats. Alex lets her arm drop around Kelley, squeezing her shoulder. “Annoyed I couldn’t keep playing though.”

“Can you at least try and take it easy for the rest of the game?” Alex asks.

“Do you even know who you’re talking to?” Kelley retorts.

“Yeah, no, that was a dumb question.”

-

Pinoe does what she does best and sinks the ball right in the bottom corner, cool as ice, the goalkeeper barely moving. 

1-0

-

Around the 70th minute, Crystal manages to perfectly dispossess a Dutch player, the ball rolling right to Sam’s feet. Sam passes the ball to Rose Lavelle, who’s coming down the middle. Alex knows what she must do. She runs, drawing the defender with her, making her hesitate long enough to give Rose just the space she needs to work her magic.

2-0

The pure ecstasy on Rose’s face after her goal takes Alex back to a time where she was the young star scoring in the World Cup final all those years ago. Just like Abby was there for her, she’s there to catch Rose. She knows what this moment means, because she’s lived it, and this time she’s going to make sure they win.

“Told you,” Tobin says to her, patting her head. Alex ducks away from Tobin’s hand, but the smile on her face tells Tobin how grateful she is.

She breathes out a sigh of relief, watching Rose being screamed praises at by Kelley on the sidelines, despite her possible concussion. Alex rolls her eyes fondly.

“Your wife’s crazy,” Tobin tells her. Her wife. Alex likes the sound of that.

“I know,” Alex replies. “That’s why I married her.”

-

When the final whistle blows, Alex Morgan finishes her third World Cup tournament with her second World Cup trophy, six goals, three assists, and the armband wrapped tight around her bicep. 

There’s something special about getting to lift the trophy with her two best friends in the world, the ones she had started this whole journey with right from the beginning. Kelley has an arm around her waist, gripping hard enough to ground Alex as the confetti starts raining down on them and the cheers become deafening. She turns to her, but Kelley’s already looking at her, with that smile Alex had fallen in love with five years ago.

It all clicks into place.

She had known all along really. She'd been in love with her since she was eighteen and time hadn’t changed a thing. 

-

After the initial celebrations die down, Alex finds Kelley sat on the constructed stage, staring out at nothing with this look of awe, knees up to her chest. She thinks about maybe leaving her to it, but Kelley catches sight of her and gives her a small nod to beckon her. Alex sits down next to her, and Kelley throws the arms that’s not resting on her knees around Alex’s shoulder, pulling her into her side.

She’s silent and Alex looks at her profile, looks over the freckles, and her hazel eyes with the gold flecks in them, and at her sharp jawline. She runs her fingers over it slowly. “What are you thinking about?” 

Just then, Jed and Lucy run past, in front of them, laughing as they throw confetti at each other.

Kelley looks at their kids, at Tobin and Christen holding Tobin’s niece, and then finally back at Alex.

“The future looks bright.”

Alex watches her for a moment. She takes Kelley’s hand and places it over her heart. “Do you feel that?”

Kelley nods.

“Do you know what that means?” Alex asks, and Kelley shakes her head. “It means that not kissing you that night all those years ago was the biggest mistake of my life,” Alex says, before taking a deep breath, “Because I’m in love with you too.

Alex doesn’t think she’s ever seen that look on Kelley’s face before, the pure relief mixed with adoration. She couldn’t be more in love. She leans in to kiss her.

It perhaps doesn’t look as flashy or spontaneous or big as the kiss four years ago, but it feels even bigger, because this was a kiss just for them. It barely lasts more than a few seconds, but Kelley’s hand stays against her chest, feeling Alex’s heart race only for her.

-

It’s a simple photo of her and Kelley that she posts. She’s holding her Silver Boot and Kelley’s holding the World Cup Trophy, with the other arm wrapped around Alex’s waist, kissing the side of her head while Alex grins maniacally.

_ alexmorgan13: trophy wives_.

-

It’s funny how everything changes so quickly.

She’s the perfect amount of drunk: drunk enough to willingly be dancing on top of the bar but not drunk enough to fall off it (she hopes). She’s glad it’s an 18+ event, because Kelley’s pressed up right behind her, no space between them at all, arms wrapped tight around Alex’s waist. Alex is drunk enough to be grinding back on her, head thrown back against Kelley’s shoulder, giggly, as Kelley presses her face into her neck, somehow fitting perfectly. She knows their teammates are there somewhere but she’s focused entirely on Kelley.

“I love you,” Kelley murmurs into her neck, lips tickling her.

Alex is going to reply but she’s distracted by a flash of green. She doesn’t know why she feels dread instead of relief. Kelley feels her tense up immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Kelley asks, kissing her jaw.

”Look at the bar,” Alex manages to say, and she knows when Kelley sees her because she lets go of her completely.

She’s about to ask Kelley what the plan is but Kelley’s leapt off the bar by the time she opens her mouth, somehow managing not to get hurt, and drawing strange looks, but she ignores them and all Alex can do is follow.

“You!” Kelley shouts, and the bartender just smiles at them, the type that suggested she knew something they didn’t.

“Hi ladies, take a seat, I think we need to have a little chat.”

-

“I see things are going well for you two,” the bartender says, pouring various things into a cocktail shaker.

“What’s going on? Who are you?” Kelley demands. Alex is feeling very sober all of a sudden. 

“Look, let’s not waste our time on these questions, especially since you two have a decision to make,” the bartender waves off her questions. 

“What are you talking about?” Kelley asks. 

“Well, this whole experience has to have a conclusion after all, otherwise what would be the point?” 

“What conclusion?” Alex finally manages to find her voice. 

“That’s your choice. There are two options for you, two endings if you will. The first is that you stay here in this world forever and the second is that you go home.”

It’s all happening too quickly and it’s making Alex’s head spin. “What’s the catch?”

“Very simple, really. If you stay here, you won’t get any of your memories back of this life, you’ll continue living as you are now. If you go back, I’ll have to wipe your memories of ever being here.”

“Wait, what?” Kelley voices what Alex’s thinking. 

She just wants to go back to five minutes ago on the bar. She wants more time.

“Green shot to go home. Red shot to stay here. Good luck girls.” The bartender gives them one last smile before she disappears. Literally. She’s not the only one either. They look around as everyone around them starts disappearing and the location starts getting blurry and morphing until they’re in the club where they had started off two months ago but it’s completely empty.

Alex and Kelley look back at the bar where four shots now rest. Two green. Two red.

“What the fuck?” Alex mutters, leaning over the bar to see if anyone was hiding there while Kelley stares at the shots. “Are you okay?”

“Alex, this is fucked up,” Kelley says, shaking her head. “Like she’s playing with our lives and for what? How is she doing this?”

“I don’t know,” Alex says, hopping off the bar stool, and looking around. The last time she was in this club she was an engaged woman, and now she was a wife and a parent, all in the space of two months. It’s jarring to say the least. “I’m as lost as you.”

Kelley walks over to the door, trying to open them but they’re locked shut. She kicks it, and it doesn’t even move a little bit. She keeps kicking it, with more and more force, making Alex wince with every blow.

“Kel, stop,” she pleads, placing a hand on Kelley’s back. “Please.” Kelley does stop, letting Alex pull her in for a hug.

“It’s not fair, Alex,” Kelley says, words muffled against Alex’s shirt. “We didn’t even get to say goodbye to the kids.”

“I know,” Alex runs her fingers through Kelley’s hair. They had fallen asleep before they even left while watching a film in between Alex and Kelley in their hotel bed. They were exhausted after the day they had, and Alex almost didn’t want to leave them but Jeni had ushered them out, telling them that they don’t win a World Cup everyday. She remembers watching them breathe for a few moments before leaving, holding Kelley’s hand.

Kelley pulls away to pace around the room. “How are we supposed to make that choice?” Kelley finally says. “It’s impossible.”

“It’s pretty simple, I think,” Alex says. 

“Yeah? What do you think?”

“We need to go back.”

Kelley breathes out a bitter laugh. “Of course.”

Alex raises an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means of course you’re going to go back to him.”

Alex’s words are icy. “That’s not what I meant.”

It’s funny how everything changes so quickly.

Kelley knows that there had to be time where they finally talked it all out, but it had been fun pretending like nothing they did had any consequences, that it didn’t mean anything. There comes a breaking point though.

“Are you ever going to choose me?” Kelley asks, watching Alex jump at how loud she says it. “I was never enough for you, not now, not on that beach five years ago and not when he proposed to you. But here you are running around with me a few months later, pretending like you love me.”

“I do love you,” Alex says, voice shaky with anger. “Don’t you dare question that Kelley, it’s the only fucking thing I’m sure of.”

“Then why wasn’t I enough for you?” Kelley shouts.

“Because I was scared, Kelley,” Alex shouts back. “You had never been in a serious relationship. I was scared you would never be able to commit to me the way Servando was willing to do. I was scared about how it would affect our dynamic on the team. I was scared about the backlash if anyone found out. I was scared about losing you as my best friend.”

“You never gave it a chance, Alex! Do you see the life we could have had? How happy we would have been?”

“Believe it or not, Kelley, I can’t see the future. What if we had broken up? Where would that leave us? You meant too much to me to risk that, you’re my best friend, I need you.”

“I need you too but do you know how much it hurts to pretend like I don’t love you? It’s easy for you b-”

Alex doesn’t let her finish. “Easy?” Alex repeats, anger coming to the surface now. “Easy? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you think it’s easy for me to watch you with Ann? Do you think it’s easy to pretend everything’s okay all the fucking time? It killed me having to pretend to be happy for you, how dare you say that!”

“So what’s changed now? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you only love me when he’s not here,” Kelley says.

“You are unbelievable,” Alex says, voice cold. Kelley remembers her saying the same words to her not even a week ago but in a very different context. “You act like you’re so innocent, that there was only one chance our whole lives to have gotten together. I was single after the Olympics, Kelley. You were still with her when you were fucking me in LA, but was it still up to me to make a choice?”

“You went back to him,” Kelley retorts.

“I waited three months for you to break up with her. Three fucking months!” Alex says, almost shouting. Kelley doesn’t know what to say to that. “You never did. You stayed with her. Do you know how that made me feel?”

“You never stopped me. If you had such a problem with it why didn’t you just say no?”

“Do you think I have a choice with you, Kelley?” Alex asks, throwing her arms up. “I loved you that much I was willing to be your dirty secret as long as I got to be with you in some way, but I couldn’t live like that forever. So, of course I went back to him. I had no choice.”

Kelley’s speechless. This whole time, a part of her had always blamed Alex for not taking a chance on them in college, but Alex was right, there had been other chances for her to make her move, but she never did. She wonders how many people were going to end up being hurt because of their inability to talk to each other. All the fight leaves her at that point. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why didn’t _ you _say anything?” Alex retorts, before sighing. “I wanted you to choose me too, Kel.”

“Fuck,” Kelley breathes out. She wonders how she had got it so wrong.

Alex feels exhausted after airing about five years of grievances out in one conversation. Exhausted but lighter. “It’s not fair to stay here and live a life that’s not actually ours. Just because we look the part and have a few memories doesn’t mean it belongs to us or can make up for all the memories we don’t have. But more than that, I don’t want just the big moments with you, Kel. I want the small things, the moments no one sees and everything in between. I feel like we’ll have skipped so much of our lives if we stay here. I don’t know what our wedding cake looked like, what our first dance was like, or know what our kids’ first words were. It’s those small details that make life real, you know?.”

“What if you never choose me?” Kelley asks, voice quiet now. Alex’s heart breaks a little at how small she sounds.

“That’s exactly why we need to go back. You’re never going to really believe that I chose you if we stay here. You need to trust me, but you clearly don’t. This relationship worked here because of trust and patience.” Alex looks at the engagement finger sitting above her wedding ring. It had quickly become her favourite piece of jewellery in their short time here. “That’s the reason why, not because of him. I didn’t think of him once when I was with you. I know that makes me a shitty person, but that’s the truth.”

“We need to go back,” Kelley finally says.

Alex wasn’t expecting her to agree so suddenly. She blinks in surprise. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re right, Alex. After we broke up here, you had to trust me when I told you I wouldn’t hurt you again and give me another chance, and you did. The life that we had is because of that, because you trusted me. I need to do the same, I need to trust you.”

“Do you?” Alex asks, and Kelley makes sure to look her right in the eye.

“I do.”

Alex feels a weight off her shoulders, but another one settle down as she realises that they had to say goodbye. She had rather become attached to this world, to their lives. She wishes she could see their children one more time.

“What was all this for then if we won’t even remember any of it?” Kelley questions, looking as resigned as her.

“Do you regret it?” Alex asks in response.

Kelley’s eyes are as soft as the smile she gives her. “Not a single second.”

“Then it was worth it,” Alex says, shrugging. Kelley thinks she makes it sound so simple. She knows it seems pointless going through all this only to go back, but she would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

“Do you really think it will all work out?”

“I don’t know,” Alex says, honestly. “All I know is that I love you, and that you love me, and that means we should get a happy ending.”

“I wish we could know.”

“It wouldn’t be life if we knew how it ended.”

“When did you get so smart?”

“I’ve always been smart, it’s just taken you being transported into another universe to realise it,” Alex states. Kelley breathes out a laugh.

“So is this really it?” Kelley asks, looking at her own wedding ring.

“Looks like it,” Alex says, watching her.

Kelley’s silent moment for a moment before holding out her hand for Alex to take. “Come here.”

“What are you doing?” 

“We never finished our dance.”

“Kelley, I love you, but I’m just not in the right mood to grind on you,” Alex says, but she still lets Kelley pull her up. Kelley rolls her eyes.

“Did you know that you got Taylor Swift to serenade us at our wedding as our first dance?”

“What the fuck, Kelley? Why am I only hearing about this now? Taylor Swift? As in Taylor Swift?” Alex asks, grip on Kelley’s hand tightening with excitement.

Kelley laughs at the look on her face, getting her phone out to play the song she had been listening to every single day for the past two months, before every match, on the bus, in the locker room, in their hotel room. “Dance with me.”

Alex is looking at her with her favourite endeared smile. Kelley’s free arm goes around Alex’s waist, while Alex’s rests around her neck. There’s no space between them, their intertwined hands pressed against Kelley’s chest. They sway together as the song plays quietly in the background.

If Alex closes her eyes she can pretend that it’s their first dance, that they have all the time in the world because they’ll be spending the rest of their lives together. She can almost believe it as the song echoes around the empty club.

_ Cause you can hear in the silence // _

_ You can feel it on the way home // _

_ You can see it with the lights out // _

_ You are in love, true love // _

_ You're in love _

The song comes to a close too soon. They continue swaying in silence. Kelley’s nose nudges the side of Alex’s head, and then, they’re kissing. It’s desperate, Alex’s hands gripping onto Kelley’s face while Kelley’s nails dig into Alex’s hips hard enough to leave a mark, but neither of them care. It’s like their futile attempt at trying to leave something to remember this moment by. 

As much as they don’t want to, they have to pull away to breathe.

Alex leads Kelley’s hand to rest on her chest, before covering it with her hand. “I love you,” Alex pleads against her lips, keeping a hold on Kelley’s face with her other hand. “I love you, please remember that.”

“I trust you,” Kelley tells her, kissing her forehead. She sounds sure. Alex nods before letting go of Kelley’s face. They know it’s time now. They make their way over to the bar, and Kelley takes Alex’s hand to press a final kiss against the ring before letting go.

“Goodbye, Kelley,” Alex says, picking up the green shot and knocking it gently against Kelley’s.

“Goodbye, Alex.” She takes one last look at Alex, before counting down from three and pouring it down her throat.

-

_ It’s Kelley’s 20th birthday and the day before Ali had to fly out to Beijing to play for New Zealand at the Olympics. They were all staying at Kelley’s sorority house, since Tobin and Kelley were leaving for Chile next week for the U20 World Cup. Ali and Tobin wanted to celebrate that evening at the beach, since it’s their last night together. Kelley agrees, wanting to take her mind off Alex, who knew she was back in California but hadn’t reached out to her. She guesses that’s her answer, but she doesn’t want to dwell on it now on her birthday. She’ll have time to be sad after the tournament. _

_ The only problem is that Tobin and Ali are being shady, whispering to each other when they think they’re alone and acting shifty when Kelley questions them about it. She just assumes they’ve got something planned for tonight, so doesn’t question it too much. They get lunch and Kelley tries not to roll her eyes when the waitress comes out with a big birthday cake. They both sing Kelley happy birthday. It’s off key and loud but Kelley feels right at home. _

_ Ali tells her they should all go to the beach, and she has a smirk on her face that Kelley doesn’t like the look of one bit. Kelley narrows her eyes at her, “I know that look, you’re planning something.” _

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ali says, smirk still on her face. “Now come on, before it gets too late.” _

_ They drive to the beach, and Kelley is reminded of how much she loves her best friends. They started this whole chapter of college together in a way, and she was grateful that she knew Tobin before she moved all the way to California, and that Ali and her became instant friends when they met. After a match against Cal, and a group meal, Tobin and Ali also became pals, and thus their core friendship group was born. _

_ They reach the beach and the sun’s beginning to set, the water tinged with pink and amber tones. It’s beautiful. She sits down on the sand but raises an eyebrow when the other two don’t join her. _

_ “We’ll be back, we just have to set something up,” Ali says. Kelley knew they were planning something. “We’ll be back. Enjoy the sunset.” _

_ Kelley does as she’d told, staring out at the sea with the sounds of the waves crashing relaxing her. Her mind drifts to Alex. She can’t help it, the beach will always remind her of her. _

_ “What are you thinking about, birthday girl?” She jumps at the voice, and for a moment thinks she’s hallucinating, as if thinking about Alex that hard actually managed to summon her. Then, Alex is sitting down next to her. _

_ “You,” Kelley admits, and Alex definitely blushes. Kelley looks over Alex and realises what she’s wearing. “Is that my jacket?” She asks, reaching out to tug at her sleeve. _

_ “Yeah, it’s part of your present,” Alex says, looking at Kelley with a nervous smile that makes Kelley’s heart race. “Basically, you get to choose your present.” _

_ “Really? What are my choices?” Kelley asks, trying to keep her voice steady. _

_ “You can either have your jacket back… finally,” Alex says, and Kelley smiles. _

_ “Or…?” Kelley asks, sensing that this right here was an important moment. She wanted to remember every detail, the waves, the way Alex’s eyes are shining, the slight tremble in her voice. _

_ Alex swallows hard, before looking at Kelley resolutely. “Or you can have me, if you want.” Her voice shakes, but she sounds sure. Kelley feels her heart stop at that, and she exhales softly. _

_ “Alex,” She breathes out. _

_ “This whole time, it was about me being sure, Kelley, but what about you? Are you sure you want to be with me?” Alex asks, leaning closer. _

_ “I’m sure about you, Alex Morgan,” Kelley says simply, tugging Alex closer by the jacket to close the gap. It feels like everything had finally slid into place. Alex smiles into the kiss, and Kelley thinks she sees fireworks. Wait, she actually sees fireworks. She pulls away to gaze up at them as Alex laughs. _

_ “Good timing, you two,” she shouts out, and Kelley turns to see Ali and Tobin giving them a thumbs up. Of course they were behind this. She really loved her friends. She could thank them later though, because right now, there was this really pretty girl who she’s been dying to kiss for the past year. _

_ “Does this mean I won’t be getting my jacket back?” Kelley asks, with an amused smile, and Alex laughs. _

_ “Shut up,” Alex says, and she does shut her up by kissing her again. Kelley’s not going to complain. _

-

“Shit,” Kelley manages to say, feeling the shot burn down her throat. “That’s strong.”

She hears coughing beside her, and laughs at Alex’s scrunched up face. “Understatement,” she splutters. Kelley’s grin fades when she catches sight of the ring again. Alex notices and turns her hand away to hide it. 

“Alex!” They hear someone shout, and they both turn to see Servando walking up to them. “Oh, hey, Kelley!”

“Hi, Serv, congratulations,” Kelley says, watching him put an arm around Alex and kissing her head just because he could.

“Thank you, I was worried she wasn’t going to say yes, she sure took her time,” Serv says, laughing. Kelley looks at Alex, who’s biting her lip.

“I was just surprised,” Alex says, shrugging. She’s a terrible liar, Kelley thinks.

“I’m glad because I really thought you would have caught on to all the sneaking around,” he says, before focusing on Kelley. “Where’s Ann?”

“She couldn’t make it,” Kelley tells him, smile getting tighter.

“That’s a shame. Anyway, Alex come on, I haven’t had one dance with you this whole evening.”

“I’ll catch you up,” Alex mumbles, looking at her ring again.

“Don’t leave me waiting too long, Mrs Carrasco,” Serv says, not noticing both of them grimacing. “Bye Kel.”

They watch him leave.

Kelley thought she could do this but she couldn’t. “I think I’m going to head home, Al.”

“But you just got here,” Alex protests, frowning.

“I’m sorry, I need to get home to Ann,” Kelley says, because she knew it was the only way to get Alex to let her leave.

Alex’s face falls. “Right.”

“You know how it is.”

“Yeah, Serv’s waiting for me anyway,” Alex says, looking behind her to where he’s stood with their friends. Kelley doesn’t want to leave it like this, but she needs to get out of there. They both get up then, the space between them feeling way too big to bridge.

“Good luck, girls,” they hear the bartender say. She hadn’t realised that she was watching the whole exchange, and Kelley frowns at the sad look in her eyes.

“Thanks,” Alex says, before spinning on her heel and walking over to her fiance. Kelley watches him light up at the sight of her, but turns away before she has to see him lean in for a kiss.

“See you around,” she says in the bartender’s direction, walking to the exit and refusing to look back.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hate me lol


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was listening to cruel summer and realised that this whole story could be summed up with ‘i love u, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?’.  


Kelley’s woken up by a knock on her hotel room door. She rolls over to look at the time on her phone.

4:00 AM.

She groans as she gets up to check who the hell is knocking so insistently on her door at four in the morning. She looks through the peephole and frowns at the sight. She throws open the door. “Alex, what the hell are you doing up so early? You’re getting married in less than 3 hours.”

“I know, but I…” Alex bites her lip. “I wanted to see you.”

Kelley narrows her eyes. “Are you drunk?”

“A little bit,” Alex says, giggling. Kelley rolls her eyes but smiles nonetheless. She’s still so endeared by her. “Can we go for a walk?”

“Now?” Kelley asks.

“Come on, I feel like I haven’t seen you at all with all the wedding stuff. I miss you,” the last sentence is said with too much seriousness for someone who was swaying back and forth.

Kelley sighs, but she’s never been able to say no to her. It’s a habit that was probably going to be the death of her. She takes her jacket hanging next to the door and gives it to Alex. “I’ll come with you if you put this on. The last thing we need is you getting sick.”

“I really did love this jacket,” Alex mumbles, wrapping it around her after she puts it on. “Hated having to give it back to you.”

Kelley knows it’s the alcohol that’s making her say it, but it’s hard not to be affected. She ignores it though, opting to lock the door to hide her face instead. “Lead the way.”

Alex grins, takes her hand, and starts dragging Kelley unsteadily down the stairs. Kelley lets her, making sure she doesn’t kill herself accidentally. 

Kelley thinks it’s cruel that they end up on the beach that she’s going to marry him on, but not at all surprising.

“Tell me something,” Alex says, as they’re sat watching the waves crash onto the sand. Kelley looks over at her profile, the moonlight bathing her in this light that makes her look breathtakingly beautiful.

“Like what?”

“Anything. I need a distraction.” Kelley wants to ask what she needs to be distracted from, but she’s a good friend and instead tries to think of something.

“I was reading about the infinite universe theory earlier,” she says, staring at Alex. Alex continues looking out at the waves.

“What? Like there’s a different universe for everything?”

Kelley nods.

“So there could be a universe where we weren’t soccer players?”

“I guess, yeah, if you believe in it.”

“What would that even be like?” Alex muses.

“You’d probably have less teenage boys trying to seduce you,” Kelley says.

“Now that doesn’t sound too bad,” Alex says, laughing. “We’d still be friends though, right?”

“Well, according to the theory, there are universes where we never even met,” Kelley tells her. She smiles at the pout on her face.

“They couldn’t possibly exist.”

“Why?”

“A universe where we’re not best friends? That’s crazy! We need each other!” Kelley smiles at her outrage. Alex is silent for a moment. “So there’s a universe where I don’t marry Serv?”

“Probably yeah,” Kelley says, realising the conversation’s taken a turn. “But then again, it’s only a theory, Al.”

“Tell me something else,” Alex says, after another moment of silence.

“Sometimes I think about running away.”

This makes Alex look at her.

“From what?”

“From all of it. Just driving away and leaving everything behind.”

“You can’t do that to me,” Alex says, grabbing her hand. “Did you not hear me? I need you.”

“You could come with me then,” Kelley suggests.

“So we run away together?”

“Yeah, if you wanted to.”

“Where would we go?”

“Somewhere near a beach.”

“A beach house? Like after the Olympics.”

“Oh God, yeah. Those were a good three months,” Kelley says, before pausing. “Actually, they were the best three months of my life.”

“Best three months?” Alex asks, laughing, but she realises Kelley’s serious. She smiles wistfully, before shrugging. “Yeah, same, best three months.”

Kelley wants to point out that her best three months should probably be with the man that she’s marrying in a few hours, but why should she ruin their fun. “I could cook.”

“We’d be having your outrageously big salads every night then I guess,” Alex sighs.

“I know how to cook other things! I’m actually a pretty good cook.”

“Yeah? Why didn’t you bring any of those skills out when we lived together?”

“I did,” Kelley says, looking offended.

Alex laughs at the look on her face. “I’m kidding,” she says, poking Kelley’s cheek. “If you cook, I’ll clean.”

“We could surf every morning.”

“And visit a new coffee shop afterwards and do the crosswords together.”

“We could play soccer in the evenings and watch the sunset together.”

“You would totally have a herb garden,” Alex says, laughing.

“Yeah, and you’d probably convince me to rescue a dog.”

“I totally would, and you’d end up loving the dog more than I do.” Alex pauses. “Tobin, Ali and Christen would come up to surf with us sometimes.”

“That’s their excuse, they’re actually coming ‘cause they love us.”

“As they should, we’re awesome.”

“Damn right, we are,” Kelley agrees. “We would play board games and never finish them because you’re a sore loser.”

“Says you, I never did find that dice you threw after that game of Monopoly,” Alex retorts. “I’d probably end up coaching a high school soccer team or something.”

“God, I fear for those kids if you ever lose.”

“You’d be on the sidelines though, screaming at the ref.”

“Well, duh.”

“You’d do something with your fancy Stanford degree,” Alex says, nose scrunching up in fake disgust.

“You’ll learn to love it because I’ll be loaded,” Kelley says. Alex laughs before her smile drops. What they were describing sounded a lot like a marriage.

Alex sighs. “We’d be happy.”

“Yeah, we would.” Kelley looks back at the waves. “But we can’t do that.”

“Why?” Alex asks.

“Because you’re Alex Morgan,” Kelley reminds her. “You’re needed here.”

“And you’re needed here,” Alex tells her.

Kelley wants to beg her then and there to choose her. 

She wants to tell her that she could make her happy, happier than he ever could. She wants to be selfish and tell her that she loves her, and she’ll love her in this universe and every other damn universe. She doesn’t though, because she wasn’t destined to end up with Alex in this one. She’ll take Alex in any way she can though, and having her as her best friend is enough, she’ll get over it. She’ll learn to get over it.

So, she doesn’t say anything at all.

-

They stay like that until the sun comes up. Alex leans her head against Kelley’s shoulder.

“It’s time to go, isn’t it?” Alex finally says. She sounds as disappointed as Kelley feels.

Kelley wants to say no, but she nods. She gets up first and holds out a hand for Alex to take. Alex takes it and doesn’t drop it after she pulls her up. The walk back to the hotel is silent, their intertwined hands swinging freely between them.

“When are you going to settle down, Kel?” Alex asks, breaking the silence.

“What would that even look like?” Kelley says, laughing, but it sounds a little forced. “I don’t know, I’m not really a relationship person, I thought I was, but after Ann and everything, I don’t think I’m good at them. I can’t really see myself being someone’s wife, can you?”

Alex looks at her with a sad smile. “I really can.” 

Kelley looks away from her. “Maybe if I find the right person but who knows how long that’ll take, not anytime soon anyway.”

There’s a pause.

“Are you happy?” Alex says. Kelley knows what she's really asking.

“I just want you to be happy, Alex.” Even if it wasn’t with her. 

They’re doing what they do best which is dance around the topic instead of just talking about it.

“I will be,” Alex says. It’s like she’s saying it to convince herself.

“Then I’m happy,” Kelley says, squeezing her hand. They’ve reached Alex’s hotel room door now. 

“Do you believe in the universe theory?” Alex asks, voice quiet.

“Yeah, I think I do,” Kelley says, mulling it over. “It’s kind of comforting, isn’t it?”

“So do you think in another universe we…” Alex trails off. Kelley doesn’t need to hear the rest of the sentence.

“Yeah, I think we would have been really happy,” Kelley says, nodding and trying to smile. 

This feels like the end and she wants to get one last look at Alex Morgan, the love of her life, in this moment before everything changes. She uses one hand to cup her cheek, trying to memorise everything. She leans forward and presses a kiss gently against her forehead. Alex’s eyes flutter close and they stay like that for a moment too long. 

“But in this universe you’re going to marry him and be really happy, okay?”

Alex nods. Kelley pretends she can’t see the tears.

“Wait, your jacket,” Alex says, remembering she still had it on. She starts to take it off but Kelley stops her.

“Keep the jacket, it always looked better on you. Plus it can be your something blue.” Kelley doesn’t want to let go but she has to. She lets go of her hand. “Goodbye, Alex,” she says as if she wasn't going to see her in an hour, but they both know what it means. 

“Goodbye, Kelley.”

Alex watches her leave.

Kelley doesn’t turn around.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol it has to get worse to get better trust me


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow what a ride, can’t believe this is the end, or that i actually managed to write 40k words. thank u for the comments + the kudos, and for supporting something that i found in my google docs last year and was never planning on finishing.

It’s strange, really. She’s walking down the aisle, all eyes on her, and one second she’s staring at Servando in his best suit, and then she blinks and the scene changes.

It’s no longer Servando, it’s Kelley standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for her with that half smile Alex had fallen in love with when she was eighteen. She looks beautiful, Alex thinks, so beautiful her heart skips a beat. God, she loves her. Stood next to Kelley is Tobin, Erin and Ali. Tobin hands Ali a tissue as she tries, and fails, to keep the tears at bay. Erin winks at her. She turns around to see her sisters and Christen walking behind her, the latter of whom gives her an encouraging smile. She turns back around to look at Kelley again.

Alex just feels this rush of urgency: she wants to get to her, she wants to see her, she wants _ her _. She picks up the speed, her dad laughing at her. “Slow down, honey, you’re going to spend the rest of your lives together, a few seconds won’t hurt.”

Alex barely hears him, eyes fixed on Kelley and the way she was looking at her, like she’s never seen anyone like her.

Alex finally reaches her, and she hears her dad say something to Kelley, but she doesn’t hear because she’s close enough to see how the sun’s making the gold flecks in Kelley’s eyes glow. She’s always loved her eyes. She’s always loved her.

“You look beautiful,” Kelley says, breathing out slowly, taking her hand. “I cannot believe I get to marry you.”

She feels her mouth open of its own accord and the words fall out in a quiet plea. “I love you. I love you, please remember that.”

“I trust you,” Kelley says, sounding completely confident, giving her that warm smile again, squeezing her hand.

She blinks again. Servando’s holding her hand, grinning at her. She feels disoriented, blinking rapidly but Servando stays as Servando. He frowns at her.

“Are you okay?” he whispers. She doesn’t answer. She turns to look out at the audience for her but doesn’t find her. She should be there next to Ali, but there’s an empty chair instead. She looks at Ali, who shrugs with a sad smile. “Alex?”

Their conversation from earlier echoes around her head.

_ “Are you happy?” _

_ “I just want you to be happy, Alex.” _

She can’t do this.

_ “I will be.” _

_ “Then I’m happy.” _

God, he doesn’t deserve this.

_ “Do you believe in the universe theory?” _

_ “Yeah, I think I do. It’s kind of comforting isn’t it?” _

“Alex?”

She loves her. She can’t do this.

_ “So do you think in another universe we…” _

_ “Yeah, I think we would have been really happy.” _

“Alex? What’s wrong?”

_ “All I know is that I love you, and that you love me, and that means we should get a happy ending.” _

He deserves so much better but something inside her is telling her it’s now or never. She had never wanted to hurt him, but she has to do this, she has to make this choice.

“Serv, I am so sorry,” she whispers, the urgency returning.

He tilts his head, looking like a confused puppy and it makes her feel a thousand times worse. Then he smiles sadly. “We’re not going to get married, are we?”

“I am so sorry,” Alex says, because she really was. He didn’t deserve this.

“Hey, don’t you dare apologize to me,” Serv says, trying to smile but she sees him tearing up and it makes her tear up. She can’t remember the last time he cried. “We had a good run, didn’t we?”

“You made me really happy and I really do love you,” Alex says. It wasn’t a lie.

“I know you do, Al,” he says, squeezing her shoulders. “But not like you love her, right?”

Alex can’t bear to look at him. Of course he knew. He knew and he still stayed, and loved her, and wanted to marry her. Her silence is enough of an answer.

“Get out of here, I’ll deal with the questions,” Serv says, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

Alex shakes her head. “No, Serv, that’s not fair on you.”

“Alex, I’m not going to let you win this argument okay? Get out of here, seriously.”

“Serv-”

“Alex, please.” he pleads, and Alex sighs and nods.

“Just promise me you’ll actually see the next wedding through to the end?” He tries to joke, because he still wants to make her smile despite everything. She throws her arms around his neck tight. She has been with him since she was fifteen, he’d been with her through it all. It’s hard to say goodbye.

“I promise, and I promise that your next wedding will be with the right woman,” she whispers into his ear, “And she’ll make you happier than I ever could.”

He gives her a smile, and takes one last look at her. “You really do make a beautiful bride,” he says, before kissing her on the forehead and then letting her go.

-

It takes her a while to find her, but she isn’t too surprised at where she does find her. 

It was inevitable. 

She’s staring out at the ocean so deep in thought that she jumps when Alex drops down next to her.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex asks, feeling the urgency in her chest easing at the sight of her.

“You,” Kelley says, not really focusing, before her eyes widen. She looks at her watch and then around her, as if she was expecting the wedding to have moved behind her. “Alex, what are you doing here? You’re going to miss the wedding.”

“Do you still want to run away with me?” Alex asks, ignoring her question entirely.

Kelley frowns at her. “Not funny, Alex.”

“I’m not joking.”

“What?”

“I love you,” Alex says, shrugging. It tumbles out of her mouth so freely, so certainly, it makes Kelley just stare at her. “So, do you still want to run away with me?”

Kelley looks dazed, but there’s that half-smile Alex loves. “Are you sure?”

Alex lets out a breathy laugh. “I’m sure about you, Kelley O’Hara.”

She knows that they have a _ lot _to talk about but that can wait because right now there was this really pretty girl she’s been dying to kiss for the past six years. She finally closes the gap and kisses her, hand resting over Kelley’s chest where she can feel her heart race underneath her fingertips.

They have all the time in the world to talk anyway.

-

“Congratulations!”

“Hey! I know you!” Kelley shouts over the music, leaning on the bar with both hands. “You were at that bar a few years ago. It’s so weird you’re here!”

“Small world! A lot has changed since then, it seems,” the green-haired bartender comments.

Kelley looks over at where Alex is laughing with Ali, Tobin and Christen, and smiles fondly. She turns back to the bartender, and laughs, shaking her head. “You don’t know the half of it.”

The bartender hides her smile. “Can I give you some advice?”

Kelley raises an eyebrow. “Sure.”

“Love is a choice. You have to wake up and choose each other every single day for the rest of your lives. That’s the key to a successful relationship.”

“I know,” Kelley says, looking back at Alex. “And I choose Alex every single day, I will for the rest of my life, and I know she chooses me too.”

“You sound sure.”

“I am.”

“Then you’ll be fine.”

“You know, for some reason, when you say it, I believe you,” Kelley says, grinning when Alex catches her watching her. “Isn’t she beautiful?” She breathes out, mostly to herself.

Alex makes her way over to them then, focused only on Kelley. “Come on, you owe me a dance.” She holds out her hand.

Kelley takes it, drinks forgotten.

“See you around,” she manages to say, before Alex drags her to the dancefloor.

The bartender watches the two of them, looking unbelievably content, too wrapped up in each other to really care about anything else. Alex kisses her wife, the lights reflecting off the new ring on the hand resting on Kelley’s cheek. Kelley whispers something in her ear. Alex throws her head back, laughing carelessly while Kelley watches her with a half-smile. She takes Alex’s hand and presses a kiss against the ring, before spinning her around.

“I don’t think you will.”

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading.


End file.
